Writtenwyrdd

Happy Towel Day!

Towel Day is an annual celebration on the 25th of May, as a tribute to the late author Douglas Adams(1952-2001). On that day, fans around the universe proudly carry a towel in his honour.

It's time again to celebrate Towel Day.  Official site here.  I'd say something witty, but Douglas Adams (may he R.I.P.) has said it all. 

Now go write some Vogon poetry that disinspires the masses. 

And remember...42

Happy New Year! To celebrate, here's an anthology listing.

The Harrow Press has an anthology opening to submissions today.  If you like your Urban Fantasy with a mystery to solve, you might try your hand at this one. 

MORTIS OPERANDI is looking for stories that revolve around the investigation of a crime and in which the supernatural plays a central role. While we’re expecting a fair share of murders, we strongly encourage stories that revolve around OTHER kinds of crime — for example, arson, assault, blackmail, bullying, burglary, dowry death, embezzlement, fraud, kidnapping, larceny, libel, piracy, product liability, slavery, smuggling, terrorism, treason, and toxic pollution are all fair game.

By “supernatural” we mean magic, monsters, and/or miracles, but we don’t consider psychic abilities (although the inclusion of a minor character possessing them will not in itself disqualify a story), extraterrestrial life, or UFOs to be supernatural.

Types of stories may include whodunits, police procedurals, hardboiled fiction, and courtroom dramas. All genres and treatments are welcome, including ecclesiastic, fantasy, humor, horror, historical, military, romance, and parody. Settings outside the U.S. and U.K. are welcome. Settings on other worlds aren’t.

We want well-written stories that demonstrate originality of concept and plot. Zombies, vampires, and werewolves will be a hard sell, and romantically inclined vampires will be staked on sight. Think outside of the coffin.

Stories will be judged exclusively on the basis of their literary merit; a history of prior publication is not necessary.

Get more information about our thoughts on this antho at Market Scoop.

Submissions & Queries: anthology [[ at ]] theharrowpress.com

• No simultaneous submissions. One submission at a time.
• Please attach your stories to your email in Microsoft Word, RTF, or text-only format. Stories pasted in the body of an email will not be read.
• Please include the words “Submission: Mortis Operandi” in the Subject line of your e-mail.

Length: 3,000-6,000 words. Please include an approximate word count in your e-mail submission.
Reprints: No
Language: English
Payment: US $50/story, upon publication, and a free copy of the book
Rights: Exclusive English anthology print and electronic (e-book) rights. Please read our Sample Contract (pdf) for full details.

Submission period: Opens 1.1.11 – Closes when filled. Stories submitted before Jan. 1 will be deleted unread.
Publication Date: 2012

Merry Christmas!

Have a lovely holiday, peeps.  Coffee and eggnog for me...Mmmmmm.

Happy Solstice!

Happy Solstice, everyone.  I hope the day and the season is joyful and that you find what you seek during the next year.  May your hearts be warm, even as it freezes outside. 

I wish I could have stayed up for the lunar eclipse, but I'm afraid sleep called and I answered. 

Happy Samhain!

(Or, to you non pagans, Happy Halloween.)

 

Thanks to Avery DeBow for the reminder about this song.  Now, go out and get some pumpkin pie!

Aaaarh! It's Talk Like A Pirate Day!!

 Happy day to yer, mateys!  Enjoy yerselves with grog and swill abounding. 

Check out the official home page for International Talk Like A Pirate Day here.  Now, bow your heads and pray in thanks to Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket

And, from the ITLPD official FAQ page:

Thar be only three pirate jokes in the world. The biggest one is the one that ends with someone usin' "Arrr" in the punchline. Oh, sure, thar be plenty o' these, but they're all the same damn joke.

"What's the pirate movie rated? - Arrr!"
"What kind o' socks does a pirate wear? - Arrrrgyle!"
"What's the problem with the way a pirate speaks? - Arrrrticulation!"

...and so forth.

The second joke is the one wear the pirate walks into the bar with a ships wheel attached to the front o' his trousers. The bartender asks, "What the hell is that ships wheel for?" The pirate says, "I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"

And finally. A little boy is trick or treatin' on Halloween by himself. He is dressed as a pirate. At one house, a friendly man asks him, "Where are your buccaneers?" The little boy responds, "On either side o' me 'buccan' head!"

And there ye have it. A symposium on pirate humor that'll last ye a lifetime - so long as life is violent and short.

(And now, back to our regularly scheduled English.)

Talk Like A Pirate Day is coming!

Do you guys realize that Sunday September 19th is Talk Like A Pirate Day?

Get your parrots dry cleaned and your eye patches re-sequined, peeps. Party at my house! You bring the rum, I'll set the plank up for the entertainment.

In Memorium

September 11 marks the 9th anniversary of a terrible tragedy.  If you lost someone on this date in 2001, my deepest sympathies.

However, instead of marking the many negative things that have resulted from the attack and the tragedy of that day, I want to remember the heroism of the first responders and the lost lives of the victims in the Twin Towers, and to also remember the heroes and victims on the airplane flights and in the Pentagon as well.  I want to remember, too, how people pulled together, how they did what had to be done and set aside differences to do it. 

I do not want to hate because of 9/11.  I'm sick of people hating an idea, an ideology, a religion or a person because they can be tied, in some vague or even concrete way, to something evil that happened but which had nothing to do with them. (I'm sick of baseless hate and prejudice period.)

Evil is everywhere.  And I really don't have to look far to find it when people choose to cry foul because a peaceful religion wishes to build a place of worship or to burn a religion's holy books because someone of that faith has done evil.  We are supposed to have stopped with the witch hunts long ago, yet some perverse aspect of humanity has us seeking again and again to reinstate the practice. 

Evil is everywhere.  I don't need to look beyond my or your or my neighbor's heart to find it. The task is to choose to ignore that potential within us, to choose love and friendship instead.  One thing that the aftermath of 9/11 can show us is how we can all be noble and work together.  Tragedy shouldn't be the thing that brings it forth.

Peace, folks.

Happy Independence Day!

May your corndogs be juicy and your strawberry shortcake sweet. 

Happy Solstice!

Happy Summer Solstice to you all.  We are having lovely sunny 80s weather with 40s nights that cool things off nicely.  I'm loving this Spring and Summer weather here in Northern Maine.  The farmers think it's a tad dry, but the sunshine and warmth for days at a time hasn't been happening for the last seven or eight summers, and I really have missed that.  The one thing about California that I miss is the sunny days in high summer.  Well, I love the Indian Summer in September/October, too.  But in New England, it's very green and very lush and of course that requires rain--which I also like, just not All The Time, lol. :)

Enjoy the day, people.  And do some writing. 

  Image courtesy of the NASA Solar Dynamics Observatorysite.

Happy Father's Day!

Hope all you dads and dad-appreciators out there have a wonderful day.  Moi?  I'll be working.  I did write for a bit last night, though.

This'll make you tear up, guaranteed.

Memorial Day commercial. Best thank you to the troops I've seen for Memorial Day, ever. Thanks to Daisy Dexter Dobbs for linking to this.

Memorial Day thanks to veterans and their families.

Thank you from one veteran to all you others for volunteering yourselves for your country. 

In this time of multiple conflicts, the all volunteer military and the many national guardsmen and women who are deployed to war zones overseas are being put to the test, and repeatedly so.  They deserve recognition for the extremes they are forced to endure. 

So many do not come home, or do not come home whole. And many who suffer are often invisibly afflicted with things like Gulf War Syndrome, or the effects of Agent Orange exposure, or with PTSD.  Then there are the smaller tragedies, such as a multiply-deployed helicopter mechanic losing his well-paying job because they just couldn't hold it for him; or vets losing their houses and filing bankruptcy because their much lower military pay couldn't cover the expenses that their civilian jobs did.  Or coming home to find the world such a strange place, one where they don't seem to fit any more... It's hard to come back and just be 'normal' again.  Because 'normal' isn't any more.

Too, people can minimize the difficulties of returning vets, and it makes it that much harder on them.  You know that commercial, where the woman says, "You're home now, get over it"?  Yeah.  Sure. 

So, for those of you who served, thank you.  You're awesome.

Happy Towel Day!

Hat tipped to Douglas Adams, may he R.I.P.  I hope you have your towels with you.

Thanks to just about everybody in the blogosphere for the reminder.  I always forget this and Talk Like A Pirate Day for some reason, and they are my 2 fav holidays.

Official site here. Graphic courtesy of Travis Avery.

Happy 4th blogaversary, Evil Editor!

There's a party going on to celebrate Evil Editor's 4th year blogging.  If you've never been, go check out the wit and fun here.  And if you just want to party (and possibly avoid actually working) go here. 

Happy Easter, y'all!

Not being Christian, it's just another day to me, but I do recognize the elements of Spring fertility rites that go along with the hoopla over the whole resurrection thing.  And regardless of your take on the matter, I wish you joy of the season/holiday and a wonderful day, too.

As far as things in general go, I'm looking about six months pregnant with my post-surgical, bloated belly, but I'm only taking about a third as much of the pain medication as I could, so I'm just a bit sore and tender.  It doesn't feel like something's ripping when I bend any longer, either.  Yay.

We are having another gorgeous, sunny day in the 70s today.  Yesterday afternoon was like the most perfect summer afternoon ever, even though it's barely spring: 70s, mild breeze, sun with no clouds.  Madre and I went for two walks for a total of nearly four miles.  It was so pleasant.  I missed our old porch, where we could sit outside and enjoy the weather.  I have plans to add one on the new house, but that's a couple of years away.  Would have been the perfect occupation yesterday afternoon, though.

I'm feeling rather nappish since I got home from the hospital.  I woke up at 5:30 and felt pretty chipper, but by the time I showered and sat down with the computer I felt like I could close my eyes and sleep a while.  So while I want to get some writing done, the urge to nap is calling.  And I can't really argue with that, considering major surgery was only 2.5 days ago!

Time to Par-tay!!!

Well, gang, it's that time of year again.  New Year's Eve.  I hope you have something fun planned for your evening, whether it's getting soused with five hundred other folks at a big bash or staying home, putting your feet up, and watching tv.  Enjoy yourselves, but, above all, be safe.  Look out for drunks driving and be careful yourself if you're the one imbibing.

See you on the flip side!

Have a marvelous Yule!

Merry Christmas, Happy Yule, Happy Kwanzaa, and/or Happy Chanukah!

And in case you haven't been by English Fail, you should check it out.  Cuz it's funny.

(And have you heard that old one liner:  Have you heard about the dyslexic Satanist who worshipped Santa?)

WORTHY OF NOTE:  THIS IS MY 1300TH POST ON THIS BLOG.  SEVERAL HUNDRED MORE AT THE OLD BLOGGER BLOG.

Track Santa online!

NORAD tracks Santa online these days.  Check it out here.

It's Christmas Eve, so I thought you might need to de-stress a little

So go here and have a laugh at Santa's expense.  And have a Merry Christmas. 

Last minute Christmas shopping?

Have I got the deal for you!  Check this out:  A Spa-to-go, an inflatable spa!  Just what your loved ones always wanted, right?  

And they'll forgive you for being late with it, as it's so incredibly nifty. Sure.  Right.

Happy Solstice!

May you have a lovely day today.  There will three seconds more daylight tomorrow than today.  Isn't that nice?

We're overcast with a high of 25 today.  Rather damp (88%) and thus my joints are complaining about it.  Supposed to get about three inches of snow tonight and tomorrow.  You never know until it gets here, but I expect it won't be enough to even bother snowblowing the drive.  Which makes me happy.

Have a very nerdy Christmas

I give to you the Brett Domino Trio!

You really should check out some of their YouTube videos.  I first heard about them via John Scalzi's blog some while back.  And there's a rather interesting charm to Brett Domino.  After watching several of his videos, I begin to think he's milking the nerdiness, just a little...  But I still love their stuff in all its geeky splendor.

SpecFic Holiday, anyone? Meet the Krampus!

Okay, not quite speculative fiction, but definitely mythological and something you likely never heard of before.  From the way cool site, Neatorama, we have an article on an old, pre-christian character who reminds me of what the Grinch should have been had he not been written in the 20th Century...

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Krampus is Making a Christmas Comeback

This Christmas, forget Santa. There’s a mythical creature that’s making a big comeback: the Krampus.

Popular in Alpine villages centuries ago, Krampus scared kids straight—his long red tongue upped the fear factor—and taught them that evil bows before good. He served Santa’s forerunner, kindly St. Nicholas, who had “the power to send Krampus back to hell,” says Austrian ethnologist Ulrike Kammerhofer-Aggermann. [...]

But by the 1800s, church leaders had marginalized Krampus. Now he’s enjoying a mini-revival, mainly for the fun of it. The Austrian state of Salzburg alone has 180 Krampus clubs, more than half set up since 1990, says Josef Moser, Jr., chairman of Austria’s Krampus Museum. Revelers roam streets in Krampus garb, rattle bells, and roar. “It feels good!” says Moser. Link 

Original post here.

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Ideas.  So many ideas!  Can you picture what would happen in a world where magic has returned (such as in the Ilona Andrews Kate Daniels series) and that very first Christmas?  What, exactly, comes down the chimney to a bad little boy?  Or perhaps it's about the warning you get before things Go South in a spectacular way because the Devil's agents are there to collect blasphemers when they hadn't been before?  Or perhaps the Old Ones or the Old Gods are stretching their limbs after being cramped between the pages of mythology and history texts for so darned long...and they are granting wishes and such no one expects to have granted.  And the possibility of so many old creatures and dieties--even saints or religious icons--being returned to the world during a season of hope (and now likely mayhem)...  And I must say, that if you were to write a holiday-focused horror or speculative work, the Krampus or some variation from pre-christian yore would be pretty cool.  Whoever gets to that first, wins.  But it won't be me this late in the game. 

I LIKE these ideas though.  *dons thinking cap for next Yule season*

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Christmas horror contest, anyone?  If there is any interest, I might hold one, prize to be determined.  We'd keep it to 500 word flash this time, or possibly a poem.  If I hadn't already done Chthulu as a prize, I could offer this little feller...except it's a bit too pricey.  But something.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm chopping veggies and making dip, baking a cloved ham, smoking a turkey breast and salmon, plus creating the traditional fixings.  (Mmmm! Candied yams--without marshmallow, thank you very much!)  Even better, several friends are dropping by to share the feedbag.  I like cooking a big meal for friends.  This year, no dining room in which to do a sit down meal, so it's a card table in the kitchen.  Makes it feel sort of like we are at Grandma's house back when I was a kid, lol.

Hope you guys have a lovely day.

Hooya! A Week off! (And thoughts about being thankful)

This is my 1243rd post on this blog.  And, just so happens a lucky confluence of days off, doctor appts and a yummy-nummy holiday cause me to have a week off of work.  Well, six days.  And with no canned posts up, you won't hear much from me for a while most likely.  Nevertheless, I have a few thoughts for my Saturday ramble.  Even worse, spirituality and creativity issues, lol!  Thus Writtenwyrdd waxes philosophical, oh my!

Me, Me, Me!  All about ME!  This upcoming week I have a bunch of writing to catch up on, some exercise to wrack my muscles with (walking the dog, actually) and a bunch of people coming over on Thanksgiving to feed.  Mom and I have to go out of town on Tuesday to Bangor to see the docs about my post-surgical check in, shop and do girly things like look for smaller clothing.  All good things, especially having my friends over to dinner.  Some of the usual crowd can't make it, but my doctor friend and her hubs (who usually are the ones unable to attend) can make it this year, yay!

Oddly--or perhaps not unexpectedly--being ill has shrunken my new small stomach back to walnut size.  I find it odd that three or four bites makes me unpleasantly full.  Perhaps it's an advantage, but when you can't even eat half a sandwich it's odd.  And for some reason suddenly finding myself painfully full comes as a shock every time.

Anyhow, besides the advent of my migraine cycle, which losing 65 pounds was supposed to stop (Waugh!) I'm back to normal from my faux flu. Not sure what that was I caught, but it was pretty darned mild, for which I'm grateful.  And believe me I'm incredibly grateful that my migraines, with preventative meds, are merely an annoyance and discomfort.  I'm not huddled in the bathroom crying for about a week during which even breathing sets off incredible pain.  I tell ya, without the drugs, I'd probably have jumped off a cliff or something several years ago.  It was that bad.  I might have been able to function with week long migraines, but live?  Hah.  These minor things that are my present migraines?  They are nothing in comparison.  I complain somewhat because they hurt like any strong headache and no one likes pain; but I know how much worse it could be, and I'm very grateful for the blessings of meds that help me.  It was so much worse five years ago. 

Thanksgiving thoughts.  And on that note, let me just bring up the topic of thanks giving.  Not the holiday itself, but the inspriation for it. 

It's an appropriate thing to do, going into the dark season of the year: Thanking diety, luck, life, your family and friends for the people, opportunities, things, jobs or whatnot that feed your spirit and your body, that teach you, love you, let you love in turn and experience the fullness of life. 

Yet, despite the vaunted holiday that's supposed to be aboutThanksgiving (okay, it's about eating turkey), our culture doesn't tend to emphasize gratitude; in fact, I find that there's a sad tendency to think that people who do nice things are schmucks.  Losers, even.  So, in a sort of convoluted yet related mental flip, we tend to think that being grateful smacks of loserhood, too.  I mean, if you have to be grateful, you had to receive.  And, if you had to receive, you were weak, a loser, a failure, a schmuck yourself.  That's a sad generality, but I don't think mistaken.

And, on the other hand, I think other aspects of our modern lives poison the spiritual well.  We are so busy rushing about (trying to be winners and not schmucks/losers/charity cases) that we cut ourselves off from recognition of things that are really important to our spiritual and emotional selves: Creating art, seeing friends, enjoying time with loved ones, spending 'quality time' or any significant/meaningful time with your kids (especially playing with them), volunteering and community work--things that feed the soul--are considered less because they are not generally considered 'real' or 'work' or 'career.'  And yet they are the mortar that holds society and family together.  (Similarly, that old tendency to denigrate stay-at-home moms or dads as not really working, e.g. not doing anything meaningful comes to mind...)

We really do forget to recognize, to feel the connectedness of things, in particular the connectedness of ourselves with the world and people around us.  Being thankful is one way of connecting, as it allows you to ponder the points where you affect and are affected by the world.  We don't do that enough.  We tend to go through our days thinking of our body as a machine without feelings or 'real needs' and not seeing how our actions affect the rest of the universe.  We tend to be distracted by data streams, email, phone messages, blog reading, fiddly bits of business that really can wait or even be forever ignored as not really adding to the quality of our lives.  The butterfly effect is real; but we are generally too shallow-minded to consider the implications...not because we can't; but because we won't. 

It takes a bit of practice to sort the chaff from the wheat.  And what's chaff and what's wheat are, of course, variable.  It depends entirely on your personal filtering system.  It's where you could say "the rubber meets the road" on your life's journey.

An odd but useful tool.  A habit I've had for years, especially when I was going through some major depression, was to set out to notice and focus on at least three good things each day.  Three is a small and simple number, it's a doable number even when you are emotionally distraut.  And if you stop and recognize three good things in your life, no matter how small or insignificant you'd usually think them, you build a repertoire of thought that allows you to find a more positive framework for things.  It's so easy to drop into a "everything's useless, why bother?" mentality.  But counting three good things per day (and constantly revising, rating, considering or referring yourself to your mental list) will help you step outside that particular bad frame of reference and--at least temporarily--into a more positive one. 

When I'd despair of myself fixing certain problems, hanging onto those three things or choices I'd made that were good things helped a lot.  Might help one of you guys, too, if you find yourself in a bad place.

Try it.  It's not that hard, especially if you reinforce it by trying to expand the listing to categories, such as Three Good Things Others Did For Me, or Three Good Things I Did For Strangers, or Three Paying-It-Forward Actions I Did Today, or Three Times I Looked For And Found The Silver Lining.  Soon, you can be much more positive by habit.  Because expanding the list is also a form of play, which is always good.  Lightening up is good.  Smiling is good.  Hugs are good.  (But you guys know this, right?)

And what brings this "Three Good Things" thing up?  Well, I've gotten out of the habit lately.  Probably a lot longer ago than lately.  Years?  Might be so.  See, I used to practice all sorts of self-cleansing ritual, meditation, self examination as part of my religious practice*.  It was a spiritual lifestyle I lived, and then I moved to the back-of-beyond Maine, got The Job That Ate My Life, and fell away from that constant practice.  And now the knowledge is there, but the habit is not.  Because entropy has occurred.

You see, slowly but surely, my creativity has suffered in the ten years since I moved to Maine.  My happiness, oddly enough, has not.  I have maintained (mostly) my long-sought-for peace of mind; but I seem to have lost the raw joy of creativity that used to burn in my soul.  I've grown tired or complacent or something.  In particular I noticed it this NaNoWriMo, as I've been feeling "so what, I don't wanna, why bother" after the first bloom wore off that particular rose (after about four days.)  So I got to wondering just why I was like this the past few years, feeling burnt out and lacking that joy in creation.  Because I really don't like feeling defeatist and negative, especially not about my art or writing.  I miss feeling totally high on the experience of making something.

And it came to me this morning:  I've been getting back that old negative state of mind I described above.  Not depression, but negative habits of thought.  It's a cancerous thing, and it spoils the fun in life.  And life should be about joy and good things. 

Small steps got me happy; small steps will get me back where I want to be.  And deliberately setting out to notice good things, positive things, is a way to be postive.  Life is all about being in flux, anyhow, so you cannot expect to achieve a perfect mind, creation, relationship and stay there; but you can gain the 'sea legs' that allow you to shift with the flow of things and remain stable.  It's about balance.  And we proved as toddlers that we could learn to balance quite well, didn't we? 

The skill's there; we just need to practice our spiritual balancing.

*I spent most of a decade studying, ahem, religiously as both a wiccan and in some other non-christian faiths. I talk about it quite a bit in my magic for writers series. 

Thank you veterans and active service members!

I'm not a particularly patriotic person, but I firmly believe that if you live in a country, call it home, claim its citizenship, you should give something back.  Your choice on that, but the type of service that speaks to me most particularly is the service of those who take the oath to defend and protect our constitutional rights, our lands and our people.  Not necessarily in that particular order.  Considering how the military is so stressed from being used over and over and over for multiple missions overseas in combat, the mental stress the troops are under is as bad--if not worse--than it has ever been.  The fact that the men and women in uniform are an all volunteer force speaks more loudly for their integrity than just about anything could.  I respect that.   

One thing I'm particularly glad about is that, despite the questionable nature of the rationale for getting involved in Iraq (oil, anybody?) and the much  more legitimate reasons for Afghanistan, people in general are behind the service members who risk everything to serve over there.  They don't judge the soldier by the arena in which they serve.  And they shouldn't.  Viet Nam and the cultural mistreatment of the military was so wrong, especially considering most of the men who fought over there were drafted; and I'm glad to see that's not happening again.   

Which brings me to Fort Hood...  In the wake of the unfortunate shootings at Fort Hood last week, I can't help but  feel for all the soldiers who'd thought themselves safely home and are now looking over their shoulders.  And my prayers go out to the families and friends of the victims and the deceased. 

But I also must reflect on the fact that the shooter was Muslim, and hope and pray that, no matter his rationale, state of mind, and possible terrorist connections (as yet unproven) people give the same grace and respect to Muslims as they do the soldiers.  Theirs is a different sort of issue, but indivisibly tied to the present political issues.  Timothy McVey's Oklahoma City act, the murders of Dr. George Tiller and the torture/murder of Mathew Shepherd adequately prove that such insanity is not bred by any particular creed, religion or nationality.  It's everywhere, and, by their willingness to take a stand and make an oath, the military service members of our volunteer force make a commitment to unity under our flag that makes me pretty proud...even though I'm not particularly patriotic.  I hope they and the general public consider these points as we move ahead with our lives.

Happy Samhain!

That's happy Halloween for you pagan-challenged types, and it's pronounced either Sow-wen or Savven depending on who you are speaking with. 

(Don't you love the nod to Star Wars in this pumpkin?  Geekalicious!)

Happy Anniversary of the Apollo 11 Splashdown!

In honor of this special occasion, which was one of the highlights of my childhood (second only to the moonwalk itself), I bring you something you probably never thought of before:  Bureaucracy as associated with historic events.  Because, you see, even spacemen need to declare what they are bringing in to Customs.  (And yes, this is a genuine document, not a fake.  I about died laughing when I first heard about the astronauts having to do a Customs declaration.  Not even national heroes get a break.)  Click on here to view larger version on the cbp.gov website.

Happy Independence Day!

Happy birthday, USA! 

To celebrate, I shall be working.  But if the weather is clear I might make it to see the fireworks and be munched on by a zillion black flies and mosquitoes. 

And for those of you who aren't celebrating your nation's birth, I hope you have a lovely day as well.

Happy Solstice!

I knew I forgot to mention something important.  Happy Solstice, people.  I hope you are enjoying a lovely summer weekend.

To celebrarte, here's a solstice bit of art I did a number of years ago.  Block print.  Orange paper.  Woo woo.

Happy Fathers' Day!

Cake borrowed from CakeWrecks.

Fathers' Day is always a bitter day for me, so forgive my attitude in advance, okay?  I really, really appreciate wonderful, caring, participating fathers.  Fathers who, despite jobs, divorce, or geographic separation, manage to make sure they are part of their children's lives and that they are cared for.  Even more, I want a father like that...because I did not have one.  In fact, my father was an abusive son of a bitch who has much to apologize for yet won't admit he did anything wrong.  (And I'm talking things for which he should have been locked away for a long time.)  I'm just waiting for the man to die so I can piss on his grave.  It's the only reason I have kept in touch, I swear.  Just so I know when he dies and can celebrate.  I haven't seen him since I was 17 and he arrived, uninvited, to my high school graduation and expected my brother to give up his ticket so he could attend.  We sent him packing with a flea in his ear.

My brother, on the other hand, manned up and did his best to ensure his daughter was a part of his life and he a part of hers--despite an acrimonious divorce and continued harrassment by his ex and her family.  It didn't work out so well thanks to court systems that favor the mother no matter how insane and abusive to the child; but my niece loves her dad and lives with him now and they are getting along famously.  It's to dads like my brother I wish a Happy Fathers' Day and it's to dads like him I want to say a big thank you...especially for the rest of us who didn't have dads like you.  It gives me hope, actually. 

Memorial Day thoughts

It's a difficult thing, losing someone to war.  Even when the cause is a good one, when the person involved was yours, it hurts.  Loss always does.  Best I can do is to thank the families of those who served and died. 

As a veteran myself, I salute our fallen warriors and the fallen of other nations.  War is truly failed diplomacy, and it should be a last option.  All too often, it is  not, and more die who should not.   And that's tragic, too.

Belated Mother's Day Humor

On the home page for today's Musical Monday group, The Lonely Island, I found this hilarious Mother's Day offering.  Again not work safe despite the bleeps.  Once you watch it you will understand why.

Happy Mothers Day!

My mom and I celebrated by watching Mamma Mia! and eating pizza.
I hope all of you--mothers and non-mothers, too--had a marvelous day.

Happy Easter!

And for all you pagans like me, Happy Spring! 

Wishing fertility symbols, hopping bunnies and sugary sweets to all!

Happy New Year!!!!!

And with that plethora of exclamation points, let me wish you all the best.  Now I'll be back to boxing my houseful of crap for the move.

Undead carols...

You need to check out Gutterball's undead Christmas carols.  Hilarious, and they scan perfectly. 

Merry Christmas!

Now get off your fruitcake-widened butt and go write something!

Regardless of your preference, remember that beer is good, wine is better, nogged nog is best...but don't drink and drive, me duckies.  Have a happy holiday!

PS any extra fruitcake may be sent my way.  I'm one of the half-dozen or so people who adore the stuff!

PPS and because I love you all soooo much, I must give you this:  The Elements by Tom Lehrer.  Because you are the very model of the modern periodic table, dontcha know.

Happy Solstice!

Sunday, December 21st at 12:05pm

Today is the the shortest day of the year!  So guess what?  The days are now getting longer!  Yay! 

And if you are inclined, here is just one of many rituals you can perform if you feel the urge. Laughingwolf also has a nice post here which you might enjoy. 

But Wait! There's MORE holiday shopping hints!

I found some good stuff for you at Stupid.com.  A Bob's Big Boy bobblehead doll, anyone?

Cakewrecks has a great suggestion, too: The fetis cookie cutter!  You have to admit, it would stop a conversation.  (Personally, I kinda want to try that one at the Secret Santa exchange.  If you find it in your gift, though, it wasn't from me!)  If nothing else, you ought to read the ad copy. 

Holiday shopping continued!

I'm all about helping you fellow sf geeks out with the shopping.  Today, it's Star Wars paraphenalia.

As in this guy, the Darth Vader computer-sitter bobble head.

Or the Star Wars pepper grinder featuring R2-D2 from Think Geek.

Or a Yoda plush backpack so you can bring up your children (or, as in my case, nieces or nephews) in proper geeky style.

And, lastly, the R4-P17 trash can.

I know, I know--but don't thank me.  I'm just doing my best to serve the public here.

Have a Cool Yule season, gang!

And, in honor of the season, I *cough*  proudly share the wrecky gingerbread house that we created at my holiday party a couple years ago.  The scene is just after we successfully reached maximum decoration capacity and stuff started to slough off.  Great fun was had by all.  This year, no baking.  Too busy with packing.

More holiday shopping (with irreverence added)

As I duck the Wrath of God(dess) for blasphemy, I bring you this bit of irreverence by Normal Bob Smith:  The Dress-up Jesus Fridge Magnet set! 

Also available as a blog widget here.

I was actually looking for the Snap Shot widget that will allow you to see the latest posts on a blog by hovering over the link.  [This is what you get when you get on the internet at 3:30 am.  Now it's off to shower, dress for work and then write for a while.] 

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I shall refer you to last year's turkey, the bikini tan! 

What I am thankful for this year is fairly simple:

1. My mother and I are doing well healthwise.
2. My job and financial situation are fine compared to many others.
3. I have a new house that has the things we were looking for.

The financial things are the most tricky.  How much of our peace of mind is based on being in a situation where we aren't constantly worrying that we won't have the means to pay the bills and care for ourselves and our families?  That's a horrible low-grade anxiety that really stresses a lot of people. And I'm so thorougly grateful to not experience that beyond the normal anxiety of buying a new house before selling the first.

I hope that you and yours have something to smile about on this lovely holiday.  And some good food, too. 

More holiday shopping hints

I'm only thinking of you guys now, helping you find the PERFECT holiday gift for your fellow spec fic fanatic.  If you  your significant other likes horror, this depicted (and decapitated) item is for you.  (I mean, who wouldn't want a pull-apart zombie doll?  It's like that 70s monkey puzzle bread we used to make from pop-n-fresh rolls rolled in brown sugar cinnamon and then smooshed together in a bundt pan to bake...Crap, now I'm hungry.   Anyhow, ThinkGeek.com has a multitude of other weird gift opportunities, too. 

Oh, and they provided a graphic video illustration of why we NEED practice dismembering zombies.

Holiday shopping assistance!

ThinkGeek.com has provided me so many amusing moments of wishful internet browsing for humorous gifts for the sff oriented set. 

Slightly less spec fic but geeky indeed are the LOL Magnets.  I almost want them.  Must. Say. No.

Whew!  I overcame the impulse.  Barely.

Happy Samhain!

That's happy Halloween for you pagan-challenged types, and it's pronounced either Sow-wen or Savven depending on who you are speaking with.  And a bit of wierd news that concerns our happy jack-o-lantern source, the pumpkin.

Horror flash challenge

My answer to both Charles' and Whirlochre's flash fiction challenge. 

 

Chocophobia

 

I'm afraid of chocolate.  Mine, specifically.  I mean, come on, you think you've got it bad? I'm the one whose forefinger is permanently chocolate covered!  I'm the one who can't grab a cup of coffee without leaving smears all over the mug, or who is forced to write left-handed so that the pressure won't snap something--

 

No, I'm not kidding.  It started as a warty looking blemish.  And within the course of a week or so it was like a big strawberry birthmark, only brown.

 

Yes! I did see the physician!  I could see the thing was growing.  I'm not totally stupid, you know.  Sorry, you know it's just that this whole thing is getting to me.  I said I was sorry!  Anyhow, the doctor thought I was having him on that first visit, because it rubbed right off with a good scrubbing, and the stuff tested out to be chocolate.  Yeah , the really good Belgian stuff.  So the doc sent me home with a flea in my ear, told me to quit wasting his time, and the insurance company made me pay the tab, too.

 

But then the mark returned.  The doc finally believes me, though, because now the stuff is all the way through the skin, and it doesn't rub off any longer.  You can gouge it down to real flesh, though.  The bone's still there, or most of it. 

 

Hey!  Cut that out!  It hurts like hell, picking at the edge of it that way!

 

Do you believe me now?  Gee, thanks.  So kind of you, I'm sure.

 

I'm in the medical case books.  Under strange and unusual, I guess.  That's something, isn't it?  Not much compensation, but maybe it'll help if this happens to someone else.

 

No, they aren't taking the finger.  At first it was because they thought the problem was limited to just this one spot.  Or maybe morbid curiosity.  Now it's too late.

 

How do I know?  I started peeing hot chocolate last week.

Horrors of the season

Charles Gramlich is proposing we all spread a bit of the season about with horror flash offerings.  I second that emotion and will be putting my thinking cap on.

I've had a story in mind for a while based on an interview I heard with the director of Pan's Labyrinth, Guillermo del Toro.  He told Terry Gross that he started off (if I recall correctly) with a vision of a faun coming out of a wardrobe at midnight.  And the line "A Faun At Midnight" has been haunting me since, trying to be a short story title.  Haven't gotten it together yet, although it's a false start in the ideas folder.

Maybe this year.  For Halloweeen. 

Samhain is the Wiccan version, and it's rather like the Day of the Dead where you recognize and celebrate the beloved dead, as well as ritual.  It's also the pagan new year.The living year ends with the harvest and begins again in the Spring, with the new growth. The time of Winter is a between time: a time of hibernation, of waiting; a perfect time for telling scary stories by the fire while the wind howls outside to underscore your words.