Writtenwyrdd

When the plot thins

The past week I've read several books.  And there was a theme of sorts, that of plot holes.  I really liked all three books which had plot holes.  They are really enjoyable and really well written...but they have major plot holes.  And I have to wonder how that could have gotten by editors once it got past the author.

One book, by Katie McAllister, is her newest Dark Ones book.  It's great, so go read it if you like paranormal romance.  But there was one glaring plot hole which really struck me.  Her character Fran is supposed to go somewhere with a friend, but she disappears due to being shanghaied, and when she returns home later that day, there is zero mention of it by her friend.  It's like the problem never happened.  And that's bad because it's such a glaring oversight.  It bothered me the rest of the book, and a couple of other minor slip ups really caught my attention because of it, which mildly reduced my enjoyment of the interesting plot, cool characters, and funny, snappy dialog. 

Similar sorts of things in the other two books, and it's inexcusable, if you ask me. 

I'm wondering: Is it the result of Ms. McAllister being a best selling author, or is it because the publishing houses are spending less money on editing services?

In any case, as writers, we need to take care of plot holes before they go to the agent or publisher.  My suggestions are 

• Take the time to go through your work, read it cold with fresh eyes, and look for subplots that are begun and subsequently dropped;
• Go through the story a second time and identify all subplots as well as the main plots;
• Map out the subplots and main plot point by point; identify the subplots which are actually lead ins for a sequel (such as future romantic interests or set up for a secondary character becoming star of her own novel) and the ones which are vital to be completed this story.
• After you have mapped the plots out, you should be able to see where you dropped the ball.  And when you fix that, you read through it again after letting it sit in order to be sure that the novel is fixed.

There are a lot of great books on writing out there; but my all-time fav is "Self-Editing for Fiction Writers," by Renni Browne and Dave King. 

Story structure and revision checklist

Alexandra Sokoloff has the best blog with advice for writers trying to improve their story structure.  And recently she had another brilliant article on revising/editing and an outline of the components to the three acts.  Check it out here.

Here's the checklist:

STORY ELEMENTS CHECKLIST

ACT ONE

* Opening image
* Meet the hero or heroine
* Hero/ine’s inner and outer desire.
* Hero/ine’s problem
* Hero/ine’s ghost or wound
* Hero/ine’s arc
* Inciting Incident/Call to Adventure
* Meet the antagonist (and/or introduce a mystery, which is what you do when you’re going to keep your antagonist hidden to reveal at the end)
* State the theme/what’s the story about?
* Allies
* Mentor (possibly. May not have one or may be revealed later in the story).
* Love interest
* Plant/Reveal (or: Setups and Payoffs)
* Hope/Fear (and Stakes)
* Time Clock (possibly. May not have one or may be revealed later in the story)
* Sequence One climax
* Central Question
* Central Story Action
* Plan (Hero/ine's)
* Villain's Plan
* Act One climax

___________________________

ACT TWO


* Crossing the Threshold/ Into the Special World (may occur in Act One)
* Threshold Guardian (maybe)
* Hero/ine’s Plan
* Antagonist’s Plan
* Training Sequence
* Series of Tests
* Picking up new Allies
* Assembling the Team
* Attacks by the Antagonist (whether or not the Hero/ine recognizes these as being from the antagonist)
* In a detective story, questioning witnesses, lining up and eliminating suspects, following clues.


THE MIDPOINT


* Completely changes the game
* Locks the hero/ine into a situation or action
* Can be a huge revelation
* Can be a huge defeat
* Can be a “now it’s personal” loss
* Can be sex at 60 — the lovers finally get together, only to open up a whole new world of problems


______________________________
ACT TWO, PART TWO


* Recalibrating — after the shock or defeat of the game-changer in the Midpoint, the hero/ine must Revamp The Plan and try a New Mode of Attack.
* Escalating Actions/ Obsessive Drive
* Hard Choices and Crossing The Line (immoral actions by the main character to get what s/he wants)
* Loss of Key Allies (possibly because of the hero/ine’s obsessive actions, possibly through death or injury by the antagonist).
* A Ticking Clock (can happen anywhere in the story)
* Reversals and Revelations/Twists. (Hmm, that clearly should have its own post, now, shouldn't it?)
* The Long Dark Night of the Soul and/or Visit to Death (aka All Is Lost)

THE SECOND ACT CLIMAX

* Often can be a final revelation before the end game: the knowledge of who the opponent really is
* Answers the Central Question


_______________________________

ACT THREE

The third act is basically the Final Battle and Resolution. It can often be one continuous sequence — the chase and confrontation, or confrontation and chase. There may be a final preparation for battle, or it might be done on the fly. Either here or in the last part of the second act the hero will make a new, FINAL PLAN, based on the new information and revelations of the second act.

The essence of a third act is the final showdown between protagonist and antagonist. It is often divided into two sequences:


1. Getting there (storming the castle)
2. The final battle itself

* Thematic Location — often a visual and literal representation of the Hero/ine’s Greatest Nightmare
* The protagonist’s character change
* The antagonist’s character change (if any)
* Possibly allies’ character changes and/or gaining of desire
* Could be one last huge reveal or twist, or series of reveals and twists, or series of final payoffs you've been saving (as in BACK TO THE FUTURE and IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE).

* RESOLUTION: A glimpse into the New Way of Life that the hero/ine will be living after this whole ordeal and all s/he’s learned from it.

You can refer to the linked article and find her other articles on the various acts and their components and well as her excellent advice on what to look for in an edit.

An additional excellent source for aid in revision is the book, Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King. 

Additionally, a great article by Adam Heine at Author's Edge on using MS Word when writing a manuscript--the Document Map. 

 

What's your peeve?

Over at Blood Red Pencil, new contributor Jim Thomsen has some great observations about common errors found during copyediting.  It's worth a read so you can learn to watch out for them.

Basically, though, the list is

Comma Splices (sentence-smoosh syndrome)

Unclear phrasing (proper noun pinches)

Incorrect homonym choice (homonym homicide)

Inconsistency in verb tense (tense tangles)

Mis- or over-use of hyphens ;) (hyphen hellspawning)

So which of these to you embody unintentionally, and what are you going to do about it?  What bugs you when you read it?  What annoys you so grievously you must either toss the book or kill something?

Envy vs Jealousy: a semantics example

Some of you may have noticed the title change.  Can you believe my brain glossed over "greed"
being there instead of "Jealousy"?  Funny how the mind can see what the eyes do not...

Jen Debenedictus has a great post up from a while back, discussing envy vs. jealousy.  I wanted to link to it because it's really an interesting discussion and an example of semantics and how we writers need to consider the baggage attached to a word, cultural finesses and shades of meaning, and other things that add distinction to a word or drag it into the muck.  Unless you like malapropisms or faux pas, you pay attention to these things.

Additionally, just a reminder about my currently running flash fiction blog contest.  Please see here for the details.

Is it your ego, or your character's?

"You know, I like some "roundabout" in a sentence, if it fits the character, and when I first draft, I have a lot of longer sentences with a lot of roundaboutation. I'm not the writer you go to for terse, just the facts sentences. :) But... but character-revealing voice-ian roundaboutation might be acceptable, but confusing verbosity is not."  Edit Torrent blog

Excellent advice, as per usual from Edit Torrent.  It's important for a writer to be able to distinguish the difference between what suits the character (in terms of language/word choice, verbosity, sentence structure, punctuation, or what have you) and what is your personal style...or your personal ego stroking.

In the cited blog article, she uses some good examples, so I won't beat that particular drum.  However, reading this made me consider the vast difference between what should be in a piece to convey the characterization, mood of the scene, or other subtextual elements...and what are we writers tooting our own horns for the audience.  The subtextual soap box, as it were...or, if I am to continue the loose metaphore, the subtextual band stand.  Ahem.  Anyhow, what I mean is that we write a certain way because we like that particular voice.  This can be due to an uneducated writer's ear, or a fondness for rambling structure, or a profound case of "I know what I mean so I see what I meant, not what I said."  We all do the latter to some extent, of course; but some are more susceptible or possibly incapable of seeing this in their own work. 

Developing the ability to step back from what you wrote and see what you said and not what you meant is a major hurdle every writer faces.  I don't care how great an author you are, or whether or not you are published, "pre-published" or unpublished, you will encounter the problem of not seeing what's actually on the paper.

You have to learn to work around your natural proclivity in that regard.  Setting your work aside until you forget that gestaltic sense of what the MEANING was versus seeing reality is the biggest step.  You can (or it's easier to) read it as a reader at that point. 

A second important thing is the critique process or a beta reader.  Depending on skill level, opportunity, and other personal circumstances, this has varying degrees of usefulness in terms of specific projects.  But to do a critique of your own work, you DO need to understand and learn the process of performing in depth critiques of others' writing.  I highly recommend taking a creative writing class with workshopping as part of the curriculum.  It taught me an incredible amount about reading critically and critiquing.  There are also web sites where writing, first paragraphs, or query letters are critiqued.  Reading how others read and critique the submissions is also educational.   Additionally, there are sites like critters.org where you can join and both get critiques and read others'.  There are both good and bad examples to be found in these places; both types are educational.  It's up to you to develop an instinct for what works for you stylisitcally as a writer and what is plain old good writing.

Critque partners and beta readers are an incredible resource.  They invest a lot of time in your writing, and their time should be respected!  In my personal experience, it takes a week or two to go through a standard length novel draft and provide in depth comments and suggestions.  That is a massive investment of my time, which I am glad to give...but only if the work is really ready for it.  My advice? Make sure that you really, truly have a solid draft for them to look at before you request reads.  If you are not sure, ask them to look at a chapter or two and get an opinion on the state of the story.  If you trust them enough to ask them to beta read or critique, you should trust them enough to take a no for an answer.

At any rate, it's important to see the difference between your style, your ego telling you your writing is perfect (it isn't), and what is useful for the writing.

If you can articulate why you chose to do a certain thing, then perhaps it should be there.  If your only response is that "I love the sound of that word" or similar, I suggest you remove it.  Drop that chunk of writing in the Precious Purple Prose file for that particular project, and, if you really need it back, you can always find it again. 

Also, check out the excellent post on the "Top Ten Reasons Your Editor Doesn't Love What Your Critique Group Loves." Useful advice that is particularly appropriate for story structure.

The one-handed checklist

"Some of the most common problems INTERN sees in novel manuscripts are not enough suspense, not enough conflict, dragging pace, too much focus on trivial scenes and not enough on important scenes, and main characters whose problems are too easy and who never get put to a satisfying test (which sounds like a laundry list from any writing-advice book, but it's true, those are the exact problems most novel drafts have!)" The Intern (who, sadly, is anonymous)

Read the cited article for a good, common sense break down on problems with first novels.  She lists this post as #1, so heads up, there shall be more.

I imagine all readers have a preference for what floats their boats in a good read.  For me, it's a main character I like and a fascinating world being revealed to me.  I particularly love it when the world is so obviously built with love that you just know the author has reams of particulars about this society, the technology ormagic behind it, the cultural issues and such that I feel I could open a door into that world and move right in, make myself at home.  I adore that kind of world building.

But you also better not drag on about the unimportant, gloss over the details in action scenes, or make your characters uninteresting boors whom readers could care less about.  And not to forget that we readers must want to know what happens next--which means we care, a lot, about the story and the characters and the resolution.

And I'd like to share my one-handed checklist* for editing your work: 

• Pacing,
• focus,
• clarity,
• language (e.g. grammar, punctuation, sentence structure) and
• characterization.

 Not necessarily in that order.

* meaning you can tick off the items on one hand.  I know you dirty-minded (okay, imaginative) people were thinking of non-PG things.  You know you were.

The fish cleaning method of editing

"FISH CLEANING - chop off the head and tail of scenes.  It is not necessary to have characters walk into and out of every scene. In dialogue it is not necessary to have all the courtesy talk, “thank you.” “hello.” “goodbye” You don’t have to set up a character with description or history when you introduce him or her in the story."  Maryann Miller, Blood Red Pencil blog

I love that description.  Ms. Miller also has a number of other articles on editing on her blog, all worthwhile reading, considering she's a professional editor by trade.  Her recommendations for editing, in a nutshell, are in the cited post.  They are

1.  Second draft.  "Look at characterization, plotting and story continuity."

2.  Third draft.  "Pay attention to pacing, voice, and style. Is the story going fast enough? Too fast? Is the dialogue natural? Concise? Is the rhythm of the words unique to your writing or does it read like every other book out there in your genre?"

An excellent book for giving you tips and tricks for editing is Self Editing For Fiction Writers.  There are many others, but this is my personal favorite. That and a good style manual.

Didn't I just say that?

"Think texting and driving, blow-drying and bathing: it’s dangerous to do more than one thing at once. Oh never mind, the results of that kind of multi-tasking could be pretty riveting. In this case, the greatest danger is that “as” you ramp up weak prose by making more than one thing happen at a time, over and over, your baffled and lulled reader will fall asleep."  Kathryn Craft

Excellent tips on editing on a Blood Red Pencil article by Kathryn Craft.  Read it here.  And although the above quote is from the article, it doesn't directly address the point of the thing, which is to address repetition--words and structure--in your prose. 

Another thing to look at is the first word of paragraphs by page: Are they the same construction, same word?  If so, consider a change. 

There are many more things to look at, but repetition, like inappropriate alliteration, always calls attention to itself.  And anything that distracts the reader from your world is not a good thing.

Whew! One less thing to worry about.

Don't fret about exacting first drafts.  Even when I hold a copy of my finished book in my hands, all I can think is, "Well, it's less wrong."  Anton Strout on Facebook, 2/16/2010

Combining elements in sentences: coordination & subordination

"What you put together in a sentence is what readers read as going together, and they'll subconsciously try to come up with a reason these go together, or at least mentally read them together as a single thought. So this process of putting together sentences shouldn't be arbitrary. You don't have to plan every sentence, of course-- most of us can trust our instincts most of the time-- but do be aware that you are making meaning by combining certain elements, and as you're reading over, see if that's the meaning you want. (Rhythm also is a factor here-- "jaggedness" might be the result of combining the wrong elements so the flow is interrupted. You might or might not want that. Do you? You will sometimes, but not always.) " Edit Torrent

Okay, so I found something to share.  It happens to be relevant to today's writing process.  This is a good article that might clarify how to reorganize a paragraph so the elements feel right.  So that they are logical, have a good sound (e.g. they're 'arty') and lead the readers where you want them to go.

The price of tea in China

I'm sure you've heard the saying, "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"  or similar odd turns of phrase.  I mean, they litter the English-speaking landscape, and many of them even contain antique constructions of grammar that are only still in use in such phrases, and vocabulary that is obscure at best.

Something that struck me while reading the other day was how a particular author (I've read five books this week, so I can't recall which one sparked the thought) avoided using turns of phrase that were outdated or ill suited to her fantasy world by means of creating her own versions that fit her worldscape.  Because it truly does stand out and grab my attention as a sort of anachronism when these everyday sayings pop up. 

In worldbuilding--particularly one that is nothing like our present day world, such as epic fantasy or space opera on a far planet--the writer needs to omit any sayings like "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?" or similar.  They are, at best, cliche; and, at worst, they are unsuited to the fantasy world. 

Likewise certain vocabulary should be avoided.  For example,  Having your sort-of-Medieval fantasy heroine tell her companion, "I'm jonesing for a bowl of soup," would rather call negative attention to itself unless your character originated in our world.

In any case, when you edit your stories, keep an eye peeled for anachronisms, cliches and such when you edit.

Self-editing articles to tattoo on your forehead

The other day, Kiersten linked to a very helpful and informative article by Stephanie Perkins on editing your manuscript.  And QueryTracker's blog had another article on editing that was even more helpful.

These are the sorts of articles that you should bookmark and read before engaging in our favorite writerly passtime!

"Lots of people write too long--I think it's about 6 times as common as writing too short--so you must not feel alone in this. In almost all of these cases, it's excess wordage in a sentence, not excess plot or excess character development, that leads to the the bulk... Unfortunately, whittling writing down to the bare necessities takes a lot of practice and, in 98% of cases, a second pair of (ruthless) eyes who can help point out your personal bulky passages. If you're striking what you see as important material, my question is can you take what's important and say it in fewer words." Moonrat

I heart you, Moonie.  I do that.  Most of us do, and I imagine even highly experienced writers still do it, too.   (But I bet they spot the dross faster and probably hit the delete key more frequently as they are doing the first draft). I have that (strong) tendency myself.  I look through any given draft and find a zillion instances of little 'tellings' as I like to call them, bits of prose telling the reader what's going on, or--most commonly--telling the reader what the character's thinking or feeling.  These little asides feel to me as I'm putting the reader in the character's pov more securely, more into their headspace; but in reality it's really just telling in an inelegant and club-like fashion. 

P.S. Don't forget to vote for the Chthulu horror-writing contest winner...you also get a shot at winning one of two copies of "Child of Fire" just for voting.  And there's a separate contest for "Child of Fire" in the post here.

Cool Site: ACME Authors Link

I took the time to check out some of Google Reader's blog suggestions and found a couple worth noting.  In particular, an article on editing to improve your work by Morgan Mandel at ACME Authors Link.  These tips appear to be common sense, but only if you have ever edited a manuscript before or read about it!

Once more, the "rules"

"Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip."  Elmore Leonard

Blood Red Pencil (which should be a daily read for most of us) offered up this link to Elmore Leonard's article in the NYT about writing. 

Great points.  I especially love the quote above.  But I have to disagree about the continued hatred of other words than "said" in dialog tags.  Sometimes (but not too frequently) it really is okay to use something else, so long as it actually adds needed meaning instead of distracts.  And, sometimes, it's even okay to add more description to a tag.*

Perhaps, for example, your pov is close in so that the reader needs to know what your character intends by saying something.  Perhaps you don't want to spell out that your character is lying, so the most expedient and clear means of relaying that to the reader (or possibly underscoring the point so they don't miss it because it's subtle) is to have your dialog be "he lied." 

"How are you feeling, Joe?"

"Miserable," he lied in a husky voice.  "I'll have to leave early for a doctor appointment at three."

Yes, you could have him say it (he said in a husky voice); but lied seems acceptable to me.

Then there are the Tom Swiftys that a crit group member of mine hates.  Even one usage in a novel was grounds to break out the firing squad on the writer in question!

Sure, saying something like '"Yes," Tom said swiftly' is really awkward and does indeed call unfortunate attention to the writing; but occasionally it makes sense.  Very very occasionally.  Possibly almost never.  But I don't believe it's okay to toss out every option.  Seems like bandwagoneering* to me!

Never using anything but said just seem dull.  Just be advised these rules are not carved in metaphorical stone.  You can break them, for the right reasons, and probably not all that often.

*You like that?  I made it up all by myself.  You can bandwagoneer me and use it if you like, though.  I won't charge you or anything!  In fact, I'll uncopyright the use of bandwagoneer (verb or noun) right now. 

Stop butting in

"Having a strong and unique voice is considered a good quality in an author. It is one of those intangibles that keeps readers coming back for more. But novice authors often have a rookie habit of "butting in" to the story to interject their own thoughts and/or information. It can be a jarring disruption to the story line."  Marvin D. Wilson, posting on Blood Red Pencil blog

Blood Red Pencil has some great articles on writing advice, particularly in the realm of editing your Great American Novels.  This one is particularly insightful to me, as it really is difficult to know when you've put in too much sometimes.  I mean, we aren't just talking "too many adjectives" but a perceptual issue here which we writers must learn to see when we edit.

And a truly insightful post on dialog is over at Victora Mixon's blog.  Two thoughts from it:  Make your punctuation and sentence forms match the mental state of the character; and have them talk at cross-purposes.  Yup yup yup.

Commonly overused words

From Precise Edit, an article describing their top ten ways writers abuse the language.  Really valuable reminder of those lazy ways we can adopt when we aren't paying attention.

They also have a handy list of links (ignore the ones for the POD printers) and some writing forums you may find useful.  (Myself, I find forums are a great time suck and avoid them unless they come up on a google search.)

Fixing what's broke(n)

"The craft of writing must be learned.  The art of writing cannot be taught, but the craft of writing can.  No one can teach you how to tap inspiration, how to gain vision and sensibility, but you can be taught to write lucidly, to present what you say in the most articulate and forceful way.  Vision is useless without the technical means to record it."  From the Introduction of The First Five Pages, by Noah Lukeman

ChickLitGrrl over on Blood Red Pencil has a post that discusses how to fix problem plots.  If your book lacks a certain something, you might use her "Eight Questions for Writers" article as a starting point.  Or read The First Five Pages.

Excerpted, here are CLG's questions:

1) Who is your main character (MC)?
2) What does the MC want?
3) What's the main conflict that keeps the MC from getting that want?
4) What's the event/situation that sets the MC in motion to achieve the want?
5) What are the obstacles the MC encounters, keeping him/her from the want? (Obstacles should escalate, building tension)
6) What's the event/situation that makes the MC go "All-or-Nothing" to win the want? (This is a moment in which there is no turning back)
7) Does the MC win or lose?
8) What's the effect of the win or loss on the MC?

The First Five Pages is also helpful for diagnosing troubles.  It reads a bit primerish but it's geared toward those who are new to writing as well as the more advanced writer.  The examples and discussion are all clear and useful to diagnose problems and improve your project if for some reason your brilliance is not being noticed by agents or editors. 

Happy writing diagnosis to you all! :)

Revisions...and foil helmets

 Seems revision thoughts are being telepathically beamed into our brains lately.  Not only did Nathan Bransford have a great post with a great checklist for revisions yesterday, but Blood Red Pencil's guest blogger, Alexandra Sokoloff, has a few relevant thoughts on that subject as well.  I particularly like the list of the various Acts and their components.  Might be useful for structuring a novel, hint hint...except when it isn't.

However, don't just go rushing off to edit, kids.  Don thy foil helmets* and pause to consider your own process instead of following some mythical Pied Piper off into the mythical land of million dollar advances and New York Times best seller lists.

And by that I mean, consider your own writing style and what you have learned about the craft of writing-- and keep weaving your own process in with these editing rules.  You have a style and voice (or are developing one) and you presumably have internalized much of the basics about writing.  So you are at the point where you are bending rules, or maybe experimenting a bit with structure.  If you follow the list Ms. Sokoloff provides for structuring your story, it might not work to tell the story you envision.  Not that I'm saying chuck these rules/suggestions out the window.  Not all of us can be a James Joyce who writes idiosyncratic books like Ulysses without punctuation for massive sections (and all the other wackiness that frankly makes me find the book unreadable) and still be called a brilliant writer; and not many of us would want to write that sort of book.  But we can all be ourselves while we communicate our stories to others. 

So amidst all the lists of things to think about, and Rules that Must Be Obeyed (unless they aren't), don't forget to be yourself.  It's what will sell your novel in the end, you know.

 

*See, this guy is a free thinker. And a fashion plate. (Picture from Wikipedia)

Nathan Bransford's Revision Checklist

Excellent checklist.  Check it out here.