Dialog as a plot device, Part I: common mistakes

Electric Spec emagazine has a recent post on their blog about dialog.  I found it interesting, and it gave me some food for thought. 

What is dialog?  We all know that dialog is basically communication between characters.  Most of us are also aware that dialog moves the plot along and provides characterization, motivation, or information.  It breaks up narrative and can speed up pace and add a much needed dose of seeming reality to a story.  But...have you considered dialog very much?  Or studied where it can fail or further your story?

DIALOG PROBLEMS
Common problems.  The biggest problems I've observed in things I've critiqued are

• Dialog that's too literal, 
• Speech that doesn't serve the story/ isn't moving the plot forward,
• References that are unclear or when readers are missing important information required to understand what's being discussed, and
• Parallel conversations that create confusion as to meaning.

Dialog that's too literal. We have to write in a manner that feels realistic but actually isn't.  Fictional dialog is not like real speech. Real-world dialog is cluttered with junk.  It rambles and it makes no sense when used in writing because it's difficult to parse the meaning with all the extraneous verbiage ('How are you?"  "Hi," "Bye," and other bits of language that we salt our speech with), and garbage sounds (um, oh, like, you know).  Often actual conversation has more than one conversation going on, and people are constantly interrupting each other as well.  You also can't translate non-verbal communication (body language/posture, gesture, tone of voice, facial expression) entirely, and must choose selected stage business, description, or dialog tags that serve that purpose instead.   

In particular, new writers will begin a dialog as we would in real life.  And it doesn't work to have a half page of "Hi, how are you?" "I'm fine, what are you doing?" et cetera.  It's crap and doesn't belong, ever. 

Speech that doesn't serve the story.  Any scene you write, no matter if it's narrative, action, or dialog, needs to serve the story as a whole.  It should further the plot, provide characterization,  give important information or serve the story in some other manner.  Preferably it serves two or even three functions at once. Unfortunately, interesting information isn't necessarily important information.  If you can't state why the info needs to be in the story, that bit needs to go.  (And this can also include extraneous verbiage like the previously mentioned meaningless pleasantries.)

References that are unclear or when readers are missing important information.  We all know that conversations have layers of meaning.  Often how something is said is more telling and truthful than what is said.  And a writer has to portray this in a way that the reader follows. So it's imperative to consider dialog and attached details for their implications. 

Often this is best done from the consideration of what does the reader already know?  And, based on that knowledge, what do you want them to infer from your characters' dialog?  If you are not precise enough in how you word the conversation, you will not be steering readers to the proper conclusion.  And let me just say that, in my observation, the usual expectation of a writer is to give the readers too much credit and providing too few clues.  (I suspect this is a case of knowing what you meant but not seeing it's not what you said.)

Let me say this again:  Writers often assume the reader understands more than they do. 

I'm a savvy reader, and if I can't figure out what you are talking about or I'm not comfortable with my assumption as to what you meant to imply, you really did not have enough information there.  It's a fine line to walk between beating your readers over the head with too much information and painting a picture that doesn't need captions.  Being pedantic and therefore obvious and heavy handed is just as bad as confusing readers.  (Thus the value of beta readers, who can point these places out.)

A scene is especially vulnerable to confusion early on in a story, when the reader hasn't yet been introduced to all the issues or complications. As an example, I recently read something by a friend which was very good, if still rough.  But  on page four there was a conversation that confused me because I didn't know enough yet to understand the reference implied.  I was left to guess which of two known issues were meant, but neither fit, so I was confused, irritated, and frustrated...and I focused a lot of my attention on figuring out what later details could have been meant!  I had to read about thirty pages on before I knew what was being referred to on page four...and it turned out there were not one but two different things that were important to understanding that conversation! 

Parallel conversations that create confusion as to meaning.  Basically, having two topics at once = confusion.  When done poorly, dialog makes the reader guess at your meaning, and readers hate that.  Readers like to feel smart by reading between the lines of the dialog...but they must be right in their guessing or you make them unhappy because your writing was flawed and misled them to the wrong conclusion.  They are also made unhappy by having to stop and puzzle out what you are saying.  And it's worse when a reader hasn't got the information yet to understand what you are implying, yet knows you are implying something.  (Frequently, this latter is by a vague and open-ended reference.)  So (oxymoronically) you need to make your implications plain and unmistakeable...but not state them flat out. 

It's possible to manage parallel dialog so you clearly have two conversations; but it's much easier to muck it up and give the reader crossed signals, especially if you create a parallel conversation unintentionally.  An example is if you have one character, who is already mad at a friend, dealing with some other issue (in this case shipping a package.)  So in the same sentence your character answers a question about where to ship a package with two different statements. "You know I hate it when you do that, leaving before we're finished. And I think that you should have sent this yesterday, when it wouldn't have to go overnight." 

Okay, so we have two topics here: the reason for the anger and the package.  We get that the speaker is peeved and that's carrying over to the dialog, but the first sentence obviously refers to something about which we have no knowledge, and the mention seems out of the blue if you have no background on the fight or their relationship except to tell me that Mr. POV is angry at Mr. Package (snicker). But we do get it that the first part is maybe referencing something besides the shipping of a package, which is halfway there.  The writer just needs to get the rest of the situation to the reader before this sentence or needs to change the dialog to clarify. (And beyond the lack of background, the writing in the sentence is poorly structured anyhow, adding to the confusion.)

Unintended confusion like that makes the reader pause to consider what you're trying to say, pulls them from the story, annoys them, and makes them trust you less. And, most* of the time, it's better to rewrite the dialog than to leave that sort of double-meaning sentence in there.  (*That would be about 99% of the time.)

So, you need to be careful that you either say one thing at a time or that you orchestrate the dialog to carry both topics without confusion.

There are a lot of ways to use dialog to your advantage, but its far easier to use dialog mechanically and with little thought to elegance.  So, what I suggest is that you give an edit to your work and decide what your dialog can be used for, how it can be used to add depth to your writing.

What do you find are areas where novice writers or you personally have issues?

Tune in Wednesday for part two.

Comments

[G]

Early on I used to use dialogue as a filler for my stories, which in essence turned them into really boring reads (like I would get bored to tears reading it).

Now it's gotten to the point where it does move the story along and provides the necessary background needed to understand the scene.

Still a fine line to walk for sledgehammering a reader with too much or too little, but I don't assume that the reader is smarter than me. I assume the reader is as smart as me.

[Phoenix Sullivan]

I find dialog being used as exposition. Not in the "As you know, Bob" way necessarily, but as in conveying information to another character that is really meant for the reader, even if it's not something the other character already knows. Conveying backstory or some bit of action that happens offstage are two examples. While it CAN be done well, when it's just plopped in in one massive monolog, it can be quite distracting for the reader.

[writtenwyrdd]

I'm sure we all have to crop out or reword those sorts of massive info bombs from the dialog as well as the rest of our work, Phoenix. It's so easy to drop it in in a draft. I know I do it in first drafts so I get the idea saved. But you have to revise so that it's not lost but placed appropriately!

[writtenwyrdd]

definitely a fine line!

[Charles Gramlich]

I see a lot of dialogue that strives for some cuteness or 'edge' but too much of it just bores.

[writtenwyrdd]

Some styles, like chicklit, have cute or snarky as a convention, so you expect it. But usually that sort of thing doesn't fly for me either.