Bernita's contest

Bernita Harris is having a contest with the cool prize being a copy of the anthology in which her story, The Stone Child, is included.  Deadline is tomorrow.  250 words describing some cool lightning-blasted oaks in Sherwood Forest.  Rules are here.

My humble entry:

Someone tried to blast the Tree of Life—probably Zeus on another drunken carouse, but he wasn't saying.

 

"Not another harvest for at least a thousand years," Lilith said while observing the damage, because she tended the Garden of Good and Evil after that idiot Adam and That Woman abandoned it. 

 

Loki, being himself, was glad to spread the bad news at Lilith's behest.

Soon, Immortals started showing up to discuss their options. Hestia brought cookies and  the Corn Maiden brought cornbread. The Hanged Man brought lamb and turned some water into wine (a parlor trick he did at every bash for the past couple of millennia.) Ba'al brought what he said was roast pork. Nobody touched that, though, except a couple of Aztec deities when they thought no one was looking.

 

Chatter, inanity and various infusions reported to be the nectar of the gods were passed around. Talk ensued. The gist: What are We going to do about the Tree?

 

"We'll age without the fruit."

 

"Hangovers," cried Bacchus.

 

"My beauty will fade and no one will lie with me." That was any one of several Goddesses of Love, every one of them prinking in a mirror as they spoke.

 

"Erectile dysfunction," moaned Zeus.

 

Set, who generally chaired, rolled his eyes then pointed at each deity who'd spoken. "Tylenol. Pheromone perfume. Viagra.  Get a grip, people. The answer is quite simple: Bioengineering.  We'll clone the damned Tree and make a bloody orchard.  Five years, tops, for our first crop."

Comments

[Bernita]

Written, you just made my job even harder.

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How so? My blinding wit, or because the hordes of people who follow my every whim as dogma?

[Nothingman]

well, its tough getting to your blog for some reason...and the tempelate is all screwed somehow.

I really liked your story on Bernita's contest, I'm myself interested in Norse Mythology. have you read american gods by any chance?

I'll be checking back here though :)

Cheers!

N

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Thanks for stopping by, nothingman! I have read Gaiman's American Gods. Love his stuff.

Typepad has been having some trouble loading on my computer occasionally.