Writtenwyrdd

Tees are fun!

A few more that I would love to have.  But check out the whole page. These are hilarious.

And, particularly great for writers:

A moment of greed and a contest prep plea (UPDATED)

 

UPDATED WITH NEW INFORMATION (SEE BELOW)

I wants it.  That's even better than my "WWTFSM Do?" shirt.  (Pastafarians, unite!)

I'm slapping together a few blog posts this a.m. and then I am going to sit down to work on Magus of Athlinar.  I might even hammer out a few flash fiction stories so I can meet my meager personal goal of one story published per year.  (Why, yes, I AM an underachiever.  But it really has a lot to do with working so much.)  Flash fiction, while probably more difficult to forge into a gripping tale due to its brevity, is nevertheless more doable for me because I can get from start to finish quickly. 

Which brings me to another topic. I'm holding a flash fiction contest shortly and need pre-contest input for the prompt.  So, blog pals, would you kindly help spread the word?  If you are willing, please link to or repost the following blurb in your blog, Facebook and/or Twitter.  The more the merrier!

CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT:
In honor of the 4th bloggaversary at Writtenwyrdd, I plan to hold another contest.  I intend this to be another writing contest won by reader votes, just like the Halloween/Samhain contest in October 2009.  This time, however, we're going for shorter entries of 200-250 words.  (Don't sweat it if you are slightly over or under; the point is writing a complete story.) 

The general story will be urban fantasy this time, or at least a story that's set in something approximating our reality!  However, in order to have a contest, we need a topic.  And I would appreciate some assistance in generating it. (The better to get something truly tricky, er, unique and fun!!!  Yeah.  That's it.)  So, if you want to play along, please do the following*:

1. Go to the nearest book (or, if you are a writer, you can open your current work in progress or trunk novel) and pick a page approximately in the middle.
   
2. Working down from the top of the page, find the first incomplete sentence you see.  Post that sentence (and the source, if you don't mind) in the comments on this post. 
   
3. Pick your favorite word in that sentence and indicate it in the same comment. 
   
4. When we have enough entries, I'll start by using your favorite words and see what comes up for a prompt. 

TIMELINE.  I'll have a prompt for the story submissions somewhere between next Friday, August 13th and Friday, August 20th. [UPDATE 8/11: I am getting enough input that I have posted the contest prompt today, 8/11.  That will give you all more time in which to create your entry!]  Submissions to close on Sunday, August 22nd, a week prior to the bloggaversary itself, August 29th.  Winner to be chosen by reader voting.  I'll announce the prize as soon as I figure out one cool enough.  (Let me know if you have any further suggestions besides the cards.  I don't have enough to make a good prize.  I can, however, include the remainders with the grand prize.)

*This is a version of 'found poetry,' an exercise I did in college for a poetry class.  You select several sentences from several books, using a random rule for sentence selection such as flipping it open and stabbing your finger on the page and using that sentence.  Then you take the lines you select that way and use it as the start of a poem.  It's useful for idea generation if you want something truly random to start with.  Your creative mind does the rest.

*OMG WTF BBQ!

In case you haven't noticed, I have a thing for amusing tee shirts.  Saw one on a friend today that had a cool graphic and the caption, "vegetables are not food, they are the food food eats."  I'm still looking for that one, but I did find a ton of amusing BBQ-related shirts. 

And, in light of the fact that it was 84 in my neck of the woods yesterday (bizzarely early, but we aren't complaining--except about the bugs, which we will always complain about!) I bring you this site, where you can look for your own bizarre and amusing shirts. 

*OMGWTFBBQ is a bit of leet-speak, defined by wiktionary here.

Time for more teaser tees

I have an excuse to buy some more tee shirts, because my collection is waaaaay to big now.  Heh.  Cafe Press provides.

My favorites:

 
 
  
 

You may have noticed I have a thing for amusing tee shirts.  I try not to be over the top nasty, though.
 

Sleep Talkin' Man blog

Just learned about a seriously funny blog called Sleep Talkin' Man.  Apparently the husband (Adam) talks in his sleep a lot.  And he's so darned funny with his non sequitirs and strange dream logic, his wife (karen) started recording him and posting them on her blog.  And it went viral.  They have now been on the Today show, and there will likely be more such appearances.

Check it out.  You will waste endless amounts of time, but you will enjoy yourself thoroughly.

(And you can buy tee shirts.  I will have to buy some of those tee shirts.  I love tees that make people do a doggie head tilt.  And my old ones are so large on me the shoulder seams are halfway to my elbows (I'm not kidding) so I have an excuse!

Think Geek

For some of the funniest gift ideas, Think Geek.  Great shirt options available for your favorite geek.  I was reminded of them by Nick Mamatas' post today, where a commenter links to the Unicorn Chaser.  Watch the video; it's hilarious.

Another good one

"Warning!  Do not look directly at laser with remaining eye."  [Add a red laser dot and you're in business.  Or even better, a pair of funky horn-rimmed glasses with one lens burned through.]

Can't you just picture that tee shirt for the science geek of your acquaintance?  It is taken from a sign on a university laser. 

More writerly teeses

Recent purchases (Cafe Press is dangerous):

"If I'm staring at you it's not because you're good looking, it's because you've helped me decide how to kill off my villain."

"What does it mean when the Editor includes a fast food application with your rejection?"

"Yes, I'm a writer.  I don't get paid as much as you but I do get to wear this to work."

I've also got an idea for a blog contest for authors.  First, you get permission to use the book cover on a tee shirt. Then you have a blog contest where a tee shirt is prize.  The shirt would have the book or some logo relevant to your "brand" as an author, and the caption would be, "I won a contest at author (writtenwyrdd)'s blog, and all I got was this lousy tee shirt."

A new category: Amusing writerly teeses

And here's another shirt I want:  What does it mean when the edtor sends a fast-food application back with your manuscript?  Picture here.

More shirts I'd like to own

There are a jillion writerly tee shirts out there.  Among the ones I thought clever enough to wear are these:

• "I prefer to think of myself as pre-published" (but I think if you said 'pre-deceased' instead the pun would be awesome)
• "Editors: We do it for your own good" (with editorial marks)
• "Trust Me, I'm a Publisher"
• "It only looks like I'm daydreaming.  Actually I'm hard at work on my novel."
• "I'd rather be writing"
• "Lit happens"
• "I am a writer, read my roar"
• "Sometimes I'm glad I became a writer.  Other times I wish I had simply become a ninja."
• "That is (em-dash symbol) the em-dash"
• "Old copy editors never die.  They just fall into a comma."
• "Bad grammar makes me [sic]"
• "Writer's Mantra: I will be a published author (repeated over and over)"
• "I do what the voices tell me.  So far they've said to write three chapters and an epilogue."
• "I is uh writur (with copyedits)"
• "Writer (with old fashioned typewriter)"
• "Closet novelist"
• "Fiction authors do it with imagination"
• "Knowledge is my chocolate"
• "Are you crying?  There's no crying!  There's no crying in EDIT!"
• "I heart fonts"
• "The plot thickens"
• "Hey New York!  Publish my book already!"
• "Writing is an occupation in which you have to constantly prove your talent to those who have none."
• "English major by day Superhero by night"
•  "(picture of a writer squashed by a big cube) Lost another one to writer's block."
• "Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. e.l. doctorow" (My personal favorite of this bunch)
• "Closet novelist"
• "Not write now...I'm worldbuilding"
• "I'm just trying to keep my muse amused."
• "Editor by day CIA agent by night"
• "Happiness is writing"
• "Help! My characters have taken over my mind!"
• "I'm writing a book.  I've got the page numbers done."
• "Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart"  (erm, scuze me, but wouldn't that be blood?)
• "Working writer--will quit for book deal"
• "Writers choose their own future"
• "Evil genius cleverly disguised as an editor"
• "Erotica writer seeks research assistant"
• "Wave if you're illiterate"
• "Warning: Deadlines may be closer than they appear."
• "Stet happens"
• "The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary"
• "Avoid cliches like the plague"

Just to tees you

Shirts I own:

Careful or you'll wind up in my novel

I know karate, kung fu and a 47 other dangerous words.

Republicans for Voldemort (and a lot of other cool shirts at goats.com)

Willie's Weenie Wagon: You might beat our prices but you can't beat our meat! (Actual logo from a bbq shop in Brunswick, Georgia.  Also, some damn fine bbq.)

[Under picture of the Flying Spaghetti Monster] Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?

Shirts I want:

333/ I'm only half evil

There aren't a lot of career options for vampires.

Cats, the other white meat, al la Alf.

I like kids but I don't think I could eat a whole one.

(And a bunch of other possibles on this site.)

Neon greed logo of The Church of Elvis.  (I bought this one for my big bro years ago and sadly they went out of business before I got my own...but now they are ba-ack!)

Tee Shirts

I think obscure writerly tee shirts are so cool.  I have two-- "Careful or you'll wind up in my novel", and "I know kung fu, karate and a few other dangerous words."

People in my very small town look at me really funny when I am wearing one, then ask me what I've published, like the shirt is supposed to be anything but a bit of fun.  It means nothing; they just assume, for some reason, that the "Careful or you'll wind up in my novel" shirt is proof I'm a writer.  Which is odd, considering no one would automatically assume wearing an FDNY shirt or some cop logo shirt would mean I was a fire fighter or a cop!

So, because I am perverse and find a stranger's need to buttonhole me over pedestrian curiosity is ANNOYING, my answer is either (depending on mood) a boring lie or a more amusing lie.

I am published in a minor way, but I just say "nothing" or "some sympathy cards for Hallmark."

And what brought this post on was Moonrat's mention of a possible contest to win an "I (heart) Robert the Publisher" tee shirt.  I keep envisioning him like Dilbert's boss for some reason...