Writtenwyrdd

Lovely lovely

Lovely photos of Sea Glass beach--sun and surf! Yay!--to cheer you up here.

Writing stats for April

Well, as far as writing goes, April has been about as productive as any month.  I am not very fast nor very productive as a writer, but I did get about 6500 words done as of this morning.  I might get a few hundred more in before needs must get prepped for work today. 

Partly my problem is a process where I continually revise and write to much which needs to be cut later.  I guess I'm not at the stage yet where I can edit the idea before it hits the page.  Likely because I don't know what the idea is until it hits the page.  I worldbuild on the fly, you see.  And I love lots of the stuff I have to cut out later.  Love it lots.  Which could mean that I'm more in love with the pretend world than with the story telling.  (But don't tell anyone, 'kay?)

I suppose I'll eventually learn how to be more streamlined in my process, but perhaps not.  In any case, it would also help if I wasn't happily knitting every spare moment; because I am thoroughly enjoying the crafting, and intend to keep it up so long as it makes me happy.  And also because for the moment I am working six days per week.

Having lost the equivalent of a small person off my butt, I am now feeling a bit more energetic than I did a year and a half ago; but I haven't parked said butt in chair enough.  Need to do that more now.   

Want a tee shirt?

Bewitched and Betrayed
by Lisa Shearin
Ace Books – $7.99

Lisa Shearin's newest installment of the Raine Benares series hits the shelves Any Second Now, and I've really enjoyed the first three books in this series, so I'm looking forward to reading the fourth book.  Debuts & Reviews mentions it here, which is what brings me to this post:  Lisa Shearin has some great series-related tee shirts for sale.  I'm sorely tempted, but I have enough tees.  So I share them with you.

I'm particularly fond of this one:

 

Steampunk opportunity for writers under 25

SMD (aka Shaun Duke, blog host of World In A Satin Bag) mentioned that the Survival By Storytelling magazine is seeking stories in the steampunk subgenre for their next issue.  The catch is that they only accept stories from writers under 25.  Submissions details here.

AND, JUST SO YOU KNOW:  THIS IS THE 1500TH POST ON THIS BLOG.   Verbosity is moi.  *curtsies*

Spec fic characters & making them different

"Q: As crass and nasty as the Grossbarts are, they're constantly waxing theological.  They even have a moral code, mangled as it is.  Was that equation a difficult one to balance?

A: "Most crass and nasty people do think they're in the right, and they have their own internal codes which they operate under.  I endeavored to write the Grossbarts as an alien observer might, as opposed to one of their victims who only hears the external half of their dialogues and has the sort of prejudice against them that being clobbered with a shovel imparts.  That sounded weird.  But really, we all have elaborate and detailed personal belief systems that  justify certain behaviors and actions, and so writing believable characters is simply a matter of remembering this and representing it even when the outlook of said fictitious characters is wildly at odds with what is common or acceptable."  Jesse Bullington interview by Jason Heller, Weird Tales, Spring 2010 (The Steampunk Spectacular issue)

I had a thought the other day which I posted on Facebook, basically that we should make some aspect of our character's world view be distinctly odd according to our own.  It's along the lines of being dropped into a foreign land and some of the cultural outlooks of that society are completely incomprehensible to the foreigner.  In the case of books, it would be the reader who is the foreigner.  I think this both adds a sense of "we're not in Kansas anymore" weirdness and makes your world building appear more comprehensive and in depth.

Serendipitously, the quote above from Weird Tales.  Because it's an excellent point that everyone has "elaborate and detailed personal belief systems that justify certain behaviors."  And it's our job to show the disconnect between the reader and the character--and also that between the character and his or her situation/society. 

And also serendipitously, check out the extremely fascinating article on A Dead Man Fell From The Sky... blog of Gary Corby, author of the Hellene Mysteries.  His article, "The Weirdness That Was Sparta" is a most fascinating list of little-known facts about how Sparta was organized politically and socially.  It was probably the most unique form of government ever created.  Idiosyncratic hardly covers it.  And, while reality here is (as Corby notes) likely too over-the-top for fantasy, the Spartans illustrate how cultural identity can be used in your worldbuilding. 

Random idea

A what if for you: What if a child's imaginary friend wasn't imaginary? I know the imaginary friend plot has been done before, but stick with me here... What else could the imaginary friend be?

A fairy
An alien
A guardian angel
A brain flaw like mental disease
An hallucination from an outside cause
Parallel universe overlap/bleed through

I could go on and on. But if you take any one of these things and extrapolate, you can get some fascinating ideas.

For my money, I like the imaginary friend purporting to be a guardian...but really being a pedophile. It would make for an intense and very horrifying nightmare ride as seen through the eyes of a parent.

So many ideas, so little time...

Cool site for steampunk fans

If you are into steampunk, which appears to be a rapidly expanding category of things to include writing, visual arts, clothing, and live role playing a la the SCA...here's a site you ought to know about (if you don't already):  Dieselpunks.org.  And they have many, many links and a forum. 

Coincidence? I think not! (At least not in your plots)

"[I]t's hard to acknowledge that too much of our plot relies on coincidence. But acknowledging that is really the first step to remedying it. And all you have to do is think, "If this same thing happened because someone made it happen, how would it happen."  Alicia, Edittorrent blog

The above-quoted article is an excellent one.  Plot coincidences can be too glib, too easy--and cause readers to toss your book in irritation. I have to say that when I read the post, I could recall a number of occasions where I paused and shook my head, thinking, "How unlikely is that?" at an important plot element that depended entirely on chance.  Not necessarily plot complications that get in the way but don't entirely impede the plot; but ones that solve the problem, kill off the bad guy, or net the hero/ine the McGuffin s/he's been aiming for. 

Coincidence as the basis for the story.
This is one use of coincidence that I think can be readily used with little to no problem.  And that's because the story starts here.  Example:  A man buys a lottery ticket and actually wins.  (The Lottery, by Pat Woods)  The coincidence is the basis for the story, but essentially has nothing to do with the story plot.

But that's how it really happened!
Yes, truth is stranger than fiction.  However, in fiction, you aren't plotting reality, you are plotting a story.  And a story is not about facts but about emotional resonance.  It has to feel real to the readers, not be real.  The difference should be clear to you if you are a reader.  However, I believe confusion as to this point is growing among new writers because they watch a lot of television and movies, where coincidence is rampant.  It's accepted in the visual media, but not generally in the written.  And that, I believe, is because the written story requires more participation on the part of the reader.  And dropping in coincidences is practically the same thing as dropping in a deus ex machina element: It takes away from the reader's involvement because coincidence, if too easy, makes the story less worthwhile.  Investment feels like a cheat or a waste at that point, and readers get upset with you.  A great article on this point is here.

A story's logic is linear, more or less.
Now, you can definitely have coincidences in a story.  Too many or the wrong kind, however, and you have problems.  Just as the fact that you make a promise to readers by the inital worldbuilding/scene setting in the opening, you promise them by the medium you are using (written story) to have the plot make sense.  True life doesn't always make sense.  Life is constantly complicated by random acts of chaos which are neither logical nor linear.  But people want their books to make sense.  They want a linear progression, more or less:  Something happens, logical response is decided upon and protagonist goes there, dealing with ensuing complications along the way.  And the complications are ones that could be expected based on the type of story.  Man versus Society, for example, might have complications such as the EPA trying to block your entrepreneurial protagonist's attempts to reopen a business that will energize the economy of his town.  But in the cited example you wouldn't have the solution nor the conflict based upon a random circumstance that couldn't logically be expected.  For example, you wouldn't have a mysterious benefactor send over a crew to spend sixty million to retrofit the plant and make the EPA happy, thereby providing jobs for everyone.  (Not unless you were writing a Santa story, anyhow!)  And you wouldn't have the conflict based upon the random fact that your protagonist's ex-wife was rich and politically connected enough to sue and slap injunctions  and create endless trouble--just because he cheated on her and she's still angry about it.  

The first example is just too implausible, being a deus ex machina; and the second one, while it might be appropriate for a romance or some such where an angry ex being trouble would seem relevant, would not work if the story is a drama about a man who wants to open a business and falls afoul of government regulatory bodies.   

It's a matter of degree.
I doubt that a story can function without some level of coincidence, at least to add to plot complications or the initial problem.  In Alicia's blog post, she discusses how some coincidence makes sense (the Frenchman, because he has no real function other than red herring) but that important events that depend on random coincidence are a fatal plot flaw.  I tend to agree.  There are exceptions, of course.  You can't have mythic hero's journey tales a la Greek mythology like the Oddyssey without having gods who add random chaos just because they hate each other.  There's some logic there, but the application of godly disfavor or favor is appreciably random, in particular when it's Hera or Zeus involved.

Those are my thoughts on the matter.  What are yours?  Do you find some coincidences to be okay and others totally unacceptable no matter what?  Or do you feel, like I do, that it's a matter of degree?

Upcoming event for May 2010

Just checking out the latest Weird Tales (the Steampunk Spectacular issue!) and found a couple of things worthy of mentioning to you all who read my blog. 

First, this is a good issue.  Even though they *cough* lacked the wisdom to purchase the story I sent them, they have great stories. 

Second, there's an interesting new FREE horror 'magazine':  Pseudopod.  They are voice, and you can get the stories downloaded to your MP3 player or emailed to you.  Check it out at www.pseudopod.org for a subscription.

And Third (yes, it's a rather long 'couple of things') is a cool-sounding event, the "2010 Steampunk World's Fair." I would love to go; but since I can't I'll urge those of you who can to attend.  It's in New Jersey, which is surreal in and of itself, so the show should fit right in.  Yep.  Uh huh. 

Oh, you want details?  May 14-16 at the Radisson Hotel in Piscataway, NJ.  "Attendees will enjoy a full schedule of musical performances and art exhibitions--and a Lovecraftian murder mystery!--and Weird Tales will be hosting the "Library of Lost Literature," featuring readings by authors including Ellen Kushner..., Ben H. Winter..., and Ekaterina Sedia...., and many more."  For information go to www.steampunkworldsfair.com

And now my public service duties are done for the day.  Have a lovely time at the SWF and send me pics if you go.  I don't mind feeling jealous.  Really. 

PODs & doing your homework

"A discussion has been going on in the PublishAmerica forums at Absolute Write recently where a PA author is claiming, basically, that PA only acts the way it does because some disgruntled writers are meanies and blah blah blah. He was, essentially, accusing those who contribute to those threads of being cruel to PA. This is of course not true; PA is a vanity press with terrible customer service which misleads writers and at times outright lies to them, and that information should be spread. But it did get me thinking about what the difference is between making fun/snarking on and providing a service/warning others. The line is definitely there. I believe the PA forums at AW provide a valuable service to writers. I believe all the threads in the Bewares & Background Checks forum provide a valuable service to writers, as does Writer Beware and many of the reader blogs which will pass on information about publishers treating their authors badly or whatever. That’s not snark and it’s not making fun. It’s exposing a wrong, and it’s the right thing to do, I believe."  Stacia Kane, from her blog 

Behler Blog has a good article on PODs.  Thought I'd pass the mention along to you all.  There are good and bad PODs.  If they want money up front from you to 'publish'you, they are ripping you off.

Did I ever mention a person I know, who has been published, works with a publisher who requires the authors to pay up front before they publish?  Yeah.  But you cannot tell this person anything, she won't hear that this is not standard practice.  Nor will she seek an agent to tread the treacherous path to publication with her.

Preditors & Editors is still a wonderful go-to site for discovering problem publishers.  And there are others as well, linked to by the P&E site.  (Just scroll down the page.)  Other sites:  Writer Beware, AC Crispin's Writer Beware blog, and the Absolute Write forums. 

In Stacia Kane's article (quoted above) she talks about bullying and the 'society of mean' we seem to be evolving into, one where it's cool to pick on others so you can become part of the Cool Kids club.  And there is definitely a fine line between talking smack and deliberately harming a reputation of a person/entity and providing factual evidence.  So when you find a site that is saying things about a publisher or author, do some homework and fact-checking on what they say before you decide it's gospel. 

It's all good

Before I forget:  I envisioned an art project while at church today.  Being the typical Unitarian Universalist who arrived here via many tangential spiritual explorations (mine being heavily wiccan with lots of African- and Native American-based explorations), I was considering the various aspects of god/dess during the sermon today... and had the vision for a fun art project. 

I've lately been wanting to do a mixed-media collage, acrylic, found objects and torn paper done up into some rather large and messy expression.  I want to start with a typical New England steepled meeting house with Baba Yaga chicken legs.  Then add a mixed bag of diety doing what they do best: Bast-et as woman with cat head lounging in the sunlit yard on a chaise longe; an angel with dreads playing a clarinet with an accompanying jazz band of cherubs, satyrs and devils; and the Willendorf goddess all pillowy and dressed in gauzy clothes, en pointe and ballet dancing across the clouds.  The sun and moon are smiling in the background, along with assorted animals and people joining in (and whatever weirdness comes up on the fly to be added as inspiration strikes.)  I thought a mixed media collage. And perhaps I'll glue some beads on there, and add gitter.  Nothing says over the top like glitter!

I'm sure it'll take me a while to get to this, but I like the idea of god having a party with herself in her many aspects.  (The thing is, I can't figure out who the church is dancing with yet.  But you have to have faith that will work itself out.  The subconscious is good that way!) 

The title?  "It's all good."  Of course. :)

I think this all stems from some friends asking me to set up a retirement change-of-life ritual for them.  Been considering how to go about it, and got some good ideas during the service (No, my mind doesn't shut up for a second, even when it should.)  Anyhow, the service made me think in terms of archetypes and symbols that we have developed in various cultures. Thus, the image. 

Weird dream

Weird dream aliens were coming to take over last night.  Vivid.  I was on a secret govt think tank and was called up after a strange night where I realized that the world had changed somehow but (mostly) everyone else didn't get it.  there were clouds in grid patterns that started dripping black clouds like jellyfish tendrils, from which formed space ships.  When the sun came up, they still looked rather like clouds, but were clouds that looked like space ships of various sizes.  No one noticed.  and I was held for hours, waiting for our think tank to be called to order.  Finally I got peeved and went to get some water and take a walk--just in time to watch the alien ships drop more black clouds and make everyone think the aliens were their friends and they wanted us to handle all the stressful details of life--like government, decisionmaking of any sort.  I ran but eventually got targeted, too.  At that point, I watched myself getting taken over (omniscient narrator mode).  The voiceover was rather like David Attenborough's delivery but in my voice.  I sound pretty good with a British accent, lol.

Latest writing avoidance effort

Seriously, I do find that any artistic pursuit that feels like "It" tends to fill the creativity hopper. So when I saw this yarn (50% wool!) on sale for a buck a ball, I grabbed it and some knitting needles. It's not that I lack Any projects at home...Lordy, I must have fifty projects ready to go or half done from afghans to half sewn quilts, to paintings to needlepoint and beadwork. But I had the urge to knit. So knitting is what I needs must do. I think it has to do with the colors and texture suiting some inner part of me...or I'm even more strange than I care to admit. (The colors are way brighter than the picture, for some reason.  Also, in real life, it's not blurry looking.  Honest!)

In any case, I'm enjoying the knitting and I'm still working on Magus of Athlinar. And while the hoped for deadline for the story won't be met, it's a story that I can expand into a novel or series. And I LOVE this world. It's science fantasy that's set at least a thousand years in the future. Magic and tech intertwine, and it's often impossible to draw a lawn where one begins and one ends. Very cool chick for the main character, and her problem is an old former friend bent on revenge and a Catch 22 to beat all Catch 22s. At least I hope so. I kinda want a Lady or the tiger choice here. And then there's the complication the ending sets in motion...

I have only one day off per week for a while, so my free time is limited. I hope to be more diligent in the writing front now that the old body isn't kicking up such a fuss from adjusting to no gall bladder. Apparently, symptoms that preceded the removal can increase or worsen for a while as the body adjusts. My symptoms quadrupled and I was pretty uncomfortable for a couple weeks there...enough so I was getting a bit concerned. They've dropped to nearly nothing now, though, so all is well. I cant wait to sip some wine in a few weeks to see if my favorite adult beverage can be drunk by me. *rubs hands together gleefully*

Anyhow, that's my Saturday TMI a bit early! Hope you all are living the dream and writing your little butts off.
 

Happy 4th blogaversary, Evil Editor!

There's a party going on to celebrate Evil Editor's 4th year blogging.  If you've never been, go check out the wit and fun here.  And if you just want to party (and possibly avoid actually working) go here. 

Photos of volcano

If you haven't seen photos of the Icelandic volcanic eruption, check them out here.

Both gorgeous and disturbing!

Oh, and happy belated Earth Day!

One's professional image

"...[A]s my career took off, I decided I was an author first. And part of that means not slagging off my colleagues because honesty aside, there is always the “competition” factor. People read your nasty review and think, damn, she’s just jealous that X is doing so much better than she is. It makes you come across as petty, even if you just genuinely didn’t like the book. MCVane said something that stuck with me, and made me go, yes, that. “Reviewers ’sell’ their credibility. Authors ’sell’ their personas & books.” I find this absolutely true, which means there is something of a conflict of interest going on there. It just makes good business sense not to alienate your colleagues, no matter how you feel about their work. If you hate a book, tell your friends; don’t tell the whole internet."  Anne Aguirre, guest posting on Stacia Kane's blog

The lovely Stacia Kane (blogger and author of Unholy Ghosts and Downside) had Anne Aguirre, author of the excellent urban fantasy, "Blue Diablo," on her blog the other day.  I like what she has to say, and I really liked the above quote.  Being professional DOES include a need to be polite.  Perhaps you may choose to review books that you dislike when you are an author, but I tend to think that's something I won't do, myself.  Because it does tend to come across to people who don't know you personally as a negative attack on the person who's writing you didn't like.  Doesn't matter the reasons you give; no matter how rational and reasoned your book review, I'd think it would come across to many (or most!) as sour grapes and a big, fat ego at work.  So I don't think I'll be doing any reviews should I get a book deal, either.

Additionally, you need to read Stacia's blog just because she's got the perfect combination of ascerbic and sense of the absurd going on.  Not snarky--she's too nice for snarky--but incisive like a vampire's fangs are incisive.  Cuts right to the chase and my funny bone, at least.  Check this one out.

For you George R.R. Martin fans

Great news!  HBO is in production on a pilot for a series of George R.R. Martin's Game of Thrones.  Info here.

Yes, exactly!

"Sometimes when I'm drafting, I have to do a quick outline or write other notes to myself to figure out what happens next. I guess I could just write the draft and change the stuff that doesn't work, but these notes help me brainstorm. They're also a way to trick my inner editor into thinking I'm not really writing, and therefore don't need his "services."  Adam Hein, from his blog

I totally understand what Adam's getting at here, and I use this trick quite successfully.  In the past year or so, I'd gotten it in my head to abandon that technique and just write the draft.  The practice has kept me stalling in the quagmire of the middle, time and again, because I do just what he says: Engage the Inner Editor, and she's a real picky bitch.

So, instead of chasing my metaphorical tail, I've been scribbling "notes" that are actually free-writings of the scenes.  I just go with it, write whatever and however it comes to mind, and make a big ol' mess on the page...and end up with a very rough draft but one that IS decidedly a rough draft.  Voila! Ici! 

Strange shoes

I saw these while shopping yesterday. I hope to never see heels that strange on anybosy's feet in this town. My vision's getting bad enough as it is!

Money talk

Over at How Publishing Really Works was a guest post by/interview of Marian Perrera.  She talks about her experience getting published.  Additionally, there are references to a couple of sites that have stats on how much money one might expect for paranormal romance.

Musical Monday: Apocalyptica

This band uses featured artists instead of a lead singer.  This one's Corey Taylor singing I'm Not Jesus.  Cellos and strings overlying the standard rock instruments.  Very cool.

Unnecessary grammar

It's everywhere, and it's sad. And funny.
Brought to you by my local diner.

Belated Tax Day Humor

I missed this one until today.  Lifted with thanks from the Behler Blog, I give you, a Tax Form For the Marginally Employed. 

In other news, my life is going well.  Nice, sunny days help a lot to lift the mood, and Madre and I have been going for a lot of walks in the evening.  It's been sunny and above freezing after about 9 in the morning.  And, as they say up here, you don't have to shovel sunshine.  We like early Spring.  Normally it's about four weeks from now that you might see green grass, but we're ready to mow the lawns this week some time in the sunnier spots.  Wowza.  That's an early, early spring.  Of course, I don't think it counts until the lilacs bloom...and they are only in big, fat buds at the moment. Normally, they bloom in mid-June or thereabouts. 

And my gall bladder surgery recovery is going relatively well.  I still keep getting some side effects that are symptoms just like or worse than the pre-surgical symptoms; but am fairly sure they are improving and should go away after a bit. 

Moonrat's editing song: http://editorialass.blogspot.com/2010/04/editing-song-is-stuck-in-my-head-today.html

Contest

Eric over at Working My Muse blog is offering a cool prize if you enter his contest in celebration of 200 blog posts.

How (not?) to explain worldbuilding to your friends

I was in the coffee shop the other morning, actually there with the laptop and intending to write, when in stops a good friend (I'll call him Bob.)  We sit down and chat for a bit before going about our days.  The topic of science fiction came up, and he mentioned a mutual friend of ours--who happens to be a neuropsychologist--was a big fan of reading science fiction.  "You wouldn't have thought, him being a scientist," my friend says.  And I mention that speculative fiction is really all about inquiring minds asking questions and picking and prying at odd bits of things and piecing them together to see how they fit.  So really worldbuilding is something many scientists enjoy doing.  Arthur C. Clarke being an excellent example.

As an example, I said, "You know Bob, the thing about writers and scientists is that we are both asking what if questions.  To one side, it's scientific inquiry; and to the other, it's worldbuilding for a story.  And I segued off into a tangent by trying to illustrate this point.  "If you have some scientific breakthrough, say a medical breakthrough that allows you to stimulate any given neuron or nerve remotely, you could have the cure for paralysis.  But a government might want to take that benign and beneficial knowledge and weaponize it. "

So," I continue, "a writer has to extrapolate and think of consequences and social applications and political fallout and myriad ramifications of a single thing or idea or event in the story.  And juggle a bunch of them to make a coherent and interesting whole." 

I was sounding all smart, wasn't I?  And then I said, "Say a government did weaponize a remote, selective neural stimulating device.  Say they needed a distraction in order to assassinate (or protect) some person of interest.  What would happen if an entire theater of people all had instantaneous orgasms?"

Much laughter ensued.

And now I want to use that in a story some time.

Plot and foreshadowing

Alexandra Sokoloff has another great post on story structure, this time focusing on foreshadowing.  Check it out here.

Lime Cheesecake recipe

After I saw a can of key lime pie filling a week ago, I had the urge to make a key lime cheesecake.  I have made carob cheesecakes that turned out great (I like the taste of carob, thanks, it's rather like old style frozen yogurt in flavor) so I thought I'd turn to my trusty cookbook collection for inspiration.  (That and I queried Tyhitia Green, aka Demonhunter, because she's awesome with the cheesecake.)  Tyhitia recommended I layer the filling on the bottom, so I decided to do that.  I also swirled some filling on the top, and that I do NOT recommend.  It did mess up the cheesecake texture like Tyhitia told me it would.

I thought I'd had Pie:Fail! when I pulled the thing out of the oven, because it was a bit too jiggly.  But after it dropped to room temp it was looking more promising.  But when it was about the same four hours later at bed time, I was thinking the thing was a disaster. 

Come morning, however, it had set up and taste testing revealed a mildly lime flavored and creamy cheesecake.  I'll add flour to make it more cake like next time.

If you try it, let me know what you think!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is modified from a recipe in "500 Low-Carb Recipes," specifically the "Cheesecake to go with Fruit" on page 438. And you can either use a standard graham crust, or use the one I'll list below, which is delicious and high protein. Modified from the same book's almond variation of the "Hazelnut Crust" recipe on page 438.

Deb's Almond crust:
1-1/2 C almond meal (you can render the meal from nuts in your food processor)
5 tbsp butter, melted
1/3 C vanilla-flavored whey protein powder (do not substitute with any other type like soy or egg based)
Optional: substitute 1/4C of the nut meal with 1/4C coconut powder

Spray pan with nonstick cooking spray (or line with parchment). Grind the nuts in food processor until a medium-fine texture. Add additional ingredients and pulse to continue. (You can also just use a fork and a bowl.) Press the mixture firmly into the pan. Don't try to push the crust too high up the sides, but if using a springform pan, be sure to cover the seam and press the crust firmly into place there. Bake crust in preheated 350 oven, on bottom rack, for 12 to 15 minutes or until lightly browned and slightly pulling away from the sides of the pan. Let crust cool while you are making the filling.

Deb's Lime Cheesecake
Juice from one large lime, including pulp (if you have key lime juice, use the equivalent for a lime per the label)
Zest from one large lime
2 packages Neufchatel or low fat cream cheese
1/2 C fat free sour cream
2 large eggs
1/4 C Splenda
1/4 C vanilla-flavored whey protein powder (do not substitute with other varieties of this)
1 tsp vanilla extract
jar lime curd or can of key lime pie filling
2 tbsp flour??? (see note below)
Green food coloring
Pre-baked pie crust

NOTE: This is a very creamy textured cheesecake that takes a long time to set after baking, so bake it at least one day before you wish to serve it. I would recommend the addition of flour to give it a more cakey texture if you prefer that. I haven't yet experimented with that element, but I've seen recipes instruct to add anything from 1 tbsp flour to 1/4 cup. I believe 2 tbsp is about right.

Bring cream cheese to room temperature. Preheat oven to 375. Spread a 1/4" layer of lime curd or key lime pie filling in the bottom of the crust. Put cheese, sour cream, eggs, protein powder, Splenda, lime zest, lime juice and vanilla extract into blender. (You may add one or two drops of green food coloring if desired.) Blend until very smooth. Pour into the pre-baked crust. Place the cake on the top rack of the oven (placed fairly low), and place a flat pan of water on the bottom rack to help prevent the cake from cracking. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes (but take the cake out if it starts to brown). Let cake cool to room temperature and then place it in the refrigerator, covered with something porous such as a dishcloth-- Don't let the cloth touch the cake surface!-- until set. (About 12 hours, I believe.)

Goodness, has it been that long already?

Going back to work tomorrow.  Wow.  Time passed quite rapidly.

I'd like to report that all is well in Wyrdd's world, but, unfortunately, I am experiencing a great deal of pain and symptoms identical to those before I got the gall bladder out.  But they are worse.  The worst thing is the pain I frequently get when I eat even a single bite of nearly anything.  But a close second? The constant belching!  That is crazy annoying.  I mean constant.  There's no possible way to have swallowed that much air without making a deliberate effort. 

I'm in hopes that this will pass and the body will adjust to no gall bladder in a couple or three weeks.  But I have a feeling that it's not going to resolve.  Bleh.

Funny how anything carb-loaded like corn chips is fine, but lean meats, cruciferous veggies (cabbage, broccoli, brussels sprouts, my favorites) are killing me.  And cheese?  Fuggettaboutit.  It's yogurt, and that's iffy, too.  Carrots with peanut butter (weird, but I love it) is generally okay.  So is liverwurst, in small quantities.

Sigh.  Pardon me for dumping this one you all, but the symptoms really kicked in last Friday (just after I saw my surgeon, of course); and it's been pretty constant for nearly a week now.  Or, it's constantly occurring when I eat.  Unless it decides not to act up.  Cuz sometimes it doesn't.

Gah.  I'll just keep my fingers crossed for a couple more weeks.

Weird Book Wednesday: For those awkward occasions

The Recently Deflowered Girl: The Right Thing To Say On Every Dubious Occasion

written by Hyacinth Phipps* and illustrated by Edward Gorey

Okay, this isn't a true Weird Book; it's an Edward Gorey, which might be weird but, being weird intentionally and for humorous effect, doesn't really count.  In case you hadn't heard of this fellow, he wrote some of the best dark humor and adult picture books such as  The Curious Sofa or the wonderfully gruesome Gashleycrumb Tinies ("A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh..." with appropriate amusing illustrations.)

*Quite frankly, the only book authored by Hyacinth Phipps is this one, so I am rather inclined to assume Gorey was the pseudonymous author as well.

Better pictures of my vacation loot

I've acquired a lot of stuff in both NYC and Egypt.  I finally took some better photos of some of it.

From New York, I bought some art from a local artist.

And here are some better shots of the statues I purchased in Egypt, as well as an adorable leather camel.

Here's how we decided to display the Egypt photos.  Using a montage frame is different from how I usually display trip photos.  Typically, I frame them as tryptichs, e.g. three to a frame.  Lack of wall space meant this change.  We rather like it.  (Sorry for the flash glare.)  There are also some papyrus paintings, and I'll photograph them when I get the frames, which are a special order.  Archivally mounting them is going to be an interesting project for me.  Paper art hinges, anyone?

I'm also placing these in my Facebook photo album. 

And, because you can see a bit of them, here are The Boys, four kachina I acquired in my road trip through the Southwest in 2004.  (Yes, a NYC souvenir on the left hand side.)

An author's experience with her writing

Mind Games by Carolyn Crane.

I'm not going to review it, but I liked the book.  It takes a special way of thinking to be able to use a hypochondriac as a heroine and make it work! I'm looking forward to book 2, Double Cross.

Carolyn is also the blogger behind The Thrillionth Page, which I've followed for a long time now, and she has a great guest post over at cool spec fic blog Wicked Jungle.

I definitely like the cover, but if you ask me, the knife is a bit much and doesn't really fit the story.  It's either weapons or tattoos, though, I guess.

This is one scary, scary profile picture:

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/amy.houlton?ref=search&sid=1199097956.3349737298..1

Musical Monday: Literal Videos

Have you heard about the phenomena that are literal videos?  No?  Well, watch this beauty, a literal video version of Total Eclipse of the Heart.  And then you can check out a whole bunch of them here.

Looking at the paranormal sideways

Okay, I'm reading Caitlin Kittredge's latest Nocturne City novel, Witch Craft.  I love her writing, but something she wrote had me doing a doggie head tilt.  Her main character, Luna, observes something along the lines of, 'Sometimes being a werewolf has it's downside.  Do you know what a hobo smells like to a were?' 

Hmmm... That line, which I didn't mark and thus don't have exactly, caused a great disconnect for me.  Because I know from being around dogs that their brains aren't wired to interpret smell or sound or sight the way we do.  If you watch them--or any animal--they respond to their sensory input with different assumptions, different interests.  So it' struck me as a mistake to assume that a werewolf would experience the same reaction to a particular scent or odor that a human would (or vampire, or cat, or minah bird for that matter.)  [NOTE:  Nothing I'm saying means an author can't make these decisions. You just have to sell them to readers, and this didn't sell.]

Let me put it this way:  Have you ever had your dog roll in something noxious, like horse shit or the carcass of a dead animal?  They come home pleased as hell with themselves, and they are pleased (as I understand it) because their instincts are to hide their scent.  Horse manure does that nicely, as does eau de decomposition. 

Or, have you ever noticed how dogs really like to smell feces?  I mean, they really, really like to sniff that.  It's the neighborhood bulletin board to them, not disgusting.  Or they will jam their nose into a menstruating woman's crotch, or up another animal's butt.

Point being, their requirements for input and their interpretation of it are based on completely different requirements.  And for every animal, species of alien, type of paranormal critter, it might behoove you to consider where they diverge in their interpretations of their sensory input from people.

I'm not saying you must have a male were want to jam his nose into a menstruating woman's crotch (although it might be an amusing bit to use with a newly turned and not well controlled were); but I recommend you consider carefully before making comparisons like the one I mention that go against the natural behavior of the werecreature's nature.

Ms. Kittredge overall really impresses me with the way she integrates Luna's were nature into her human world and responses.  But that one little thing really opened up a world of opportunity for me.  I hope it's useful for you, too.

Progress report

I managed three hours in the local java joint before they closed at 2pm (we roll up our sidewalks early around here, you know) and both got my plot sorted out for my short story (I hope) and restarted it.  I am finally willing to accept what I'd already been telling myself and restructure and rewrite the thing.  So I salvaged the second beginning and am scavenging parts of the old piece, which I will drop into the new file.

You ever notice that it's hard to just immediately accept that something you are still very close to, committed to, love and are enraptured by (because you just wrote it and know what you MEANT to convey) is pure crap?  Or that it really isn't working, and though it's lovely, and very sweet and well intentioned prose, really it's got to go?  How do you give your prose the "It's not you, it's me," speech and start over or heavily revise? 

I hate tossing out stuff that's got good bits in.  You never reuse that stuff, you know.  Cutting it is like tolling the death knell on all that effort.

Must. Learn. To let. Go.  

Oh, and here's another cool picture from my vacation:

comparison photos again

Just thought I'd overshare again.  Here's me at my present weight:

 
Here's me when I started:

  What a difference, right?  (And although the lighting makes my hair look green in the newest shot, I look a lot better.)

Where I'm at and a few thoughts on things (totally unrelated to writing)

I drove down to Bangor today to see my surgeon for a bypass follow up and a follow up to last week's gall bladder surgery, and to meet with my nutritionist.  

On the way down, I saw a wild turkey hen and then a bald eagle standing at the side of the road.  You don't see the big birds on the shoulder of a highway very often, but bald eagles do nest on the waterway next to my office, so I see them fairly regularly.  (Last year, one dropped a fish in the parking lot.)

Anyhow, my surgeon and nutritionist informed me that I have lost more weight than most patients do in a year, percentage-wise.  I have lost about 90 pounds based on what I weighed on my own scale, with an average of ten pounds a month since my 9/3/09 surgery.  That's pretty impressive, actually.  And the surgeon told me she thinks I could stop losing weight now, if I wanted.  I explained about my really bad left knee and how it still tries to drop me, and how I didn't want to get it operated on until after I retire in 7 years.  Which is why I want to get as light as possible.  She thinks my 21-year-old weight of 140 a bit ridiculous (and, frankly, so do I) but 150 isn't unreasonable.  I'm shooting for that. 

So that means 20 more pounds to lose.  I might be done with the dieting by my birthday in July!  And my brand new, washed only once size 12 jeans are almost too big already.  It's getting ridiculous, frankly.  (I'm not complaining, though.)

Those conversations made me a bit thoughtful/philosophical:  I've had an extremely easy time with both the bypass surgery and the weight loss post surgery...and I can see how, by reading my commentary, someone could assume that a gastric bypass works as smoothly for everyone.  It's not.  And it wasn't that simple for me, either, in particular pre-surgery!  Relatively speaking, though, it was easy...because this diet actualy WORKED.  But I had to have major freaking surgery that might have killed me, that might have had deleterious side effects like profound anemia or chronic vitamin deficiencies for the rest of my life...and I had to go through a rigorous screening process and prove I was willing to work at it and do my part.  (There's a lot you guys didn't really hear about, actually.  Email me if you really want to know.)

The thing that bothers me is that so many people I know who have weight problems are so young.  They aren't like me when I was young and gaining weight despite eating like a normal person and being really physically active.  No, these folks are teens or early 20s and typically are total couch potatoes who have never in their life played any kind of sports or gone for walks.  And, as an example, this one young person I talked to wanted to know all about the surgery, she wanted it desperately, saw it as a miracle fix and not another diet, a tool... She wanted the surgery because she believed it was a magic bullet, and that it would fix all her problems.  She is only 21, and she's as big as a sofa, and won't lift a finger to do anything for herself.

I find this sort of thing so sad and frustrating.  People don't seem to recognize that although there can be extenuating circumstances, like my medical stuff related to getting fat, there is still an inherent responsibility to TRY, to make an effort...and to recognize their own responsibility for taking (or attempting to take) some control of their lives. 

How are we failing these kids so that they cannot recognize their fundamental need to OWN their own lives?  Someone else is not responsible for ensuring they are taken care of?

Sentence Diagramming

A while back I posted a link to a sentence diagramming software that enabled you to do them electronically.  The catch was that you needed to know how to do diagram to use the software.  So I thought that I would share the sentence diagramming rules.

I'll give it to you in the very VERY basic format. 

Rules for diagramming:

• Object of the Subject and the Verb FORM THE MAIN HORIZONTAL LINE.
• Adverbs, Adjectives and other misc. words like articles (definite and indefinite) are attached directly by lines attached to the main line where they occur.
• Lines for additional clauses and phrases are attached below the main line where they occur in the sentence BUT GET THEIR OWN HORIZONTAL LINES.
• Modifications to the dangling lines are attached to them as well.

A useful link with diagrams is here.   It makes more sense than my explanation.  I found the image on that sentence diagramming site.  (And my rather simplistic explanations are admittedly a bit simplistic.)

I am not sure what purpose sentence diagramming has except to frustrate and confuse kids in school.  I have an English degree, and I assure you, that even in the Masters level courses I took when I was dumb enough to study for a teaching degree* I NEVER ever applied knowledge of sentence diagramming to anything.  So I think it's a waste of time, as you have to know parts of speech in order to apply it.  So it's not a teaching tool per se, but a way for a teacher to come across all snobby.  (My apologies to those of you out there who like sentence diagramming.  You will never convince me it's useful.)

*dumb because I'm not suited to it, not because it isn't a noble and useful profession.

Oh dear... another marketing don't...

All I have to say is this is what NOT to involve yourself with when you are published. Author: fail. Embarrassing. On Amazon, I was looking at the reviews of Rob Thurman's Trick of the Light, which I've read, and which I liked with reservations about the tricksy plot, which is not all that...  But note the comments down at the end there. When cooler heads prevail, someone will be very embarrassed...

UPDATE:  To clarify my point here, it isn't about the supposed recruitment/bribery by the author.  I haven't looked into that, and I am not offering an opinion on that if it's true.  I'm just pointing out that involving oneself in an online flame war or he said/she said dialog is a bad idea and can prove embarrassing at a later date.  Because it'll be there forever after...

McKoala Challenge report in for April

Well, contrary to what I'd thought, I actually got more than I realized accomplished on Blood Shot's outline/story last month.  I added 7733 words to the project, and I'll count that as part of the overall story instead of the outline, as that's where it was placed.  (My actual outline has not kept up with the story plotting, which doesn't make sense unless you see how I jumped about three files and two programs.)  McKoala kindly floated me a point when I reported my dismal progress; so I'm glad to know actually earned at least two points this month when I did the math.  It's better than a fat zero.

I haven't written since my last day in New York (March 8th) and I'm just starting to feel back in my head enough after the gall bladder surgery last Thursday.  I think a week is a reasonable amount for getting over major surgery, right?  Anyhow, seeing as I haven't been taking the pain meds since yesterday, all systems are pretty much normal and I'm only a little sore.  Also, it's nice to be able to drive.  

This month, I plan to get the story Magus of Athlinar finished.  Or to at least work on it.  But I think it's at a dead end and that I have to rewrite it.  I think I'm stuck because the plot isn't working as envisioned.  But we'll see.

Wierd book Wednesday

 "Tales of the Curse: Feminine Secrets Unveiled"
Out of print, available as Kindle 

The reviews of this book are that women love it, it's hilarious--and it's all about the woman's monthly 'curse.'  Illustrations by Aubrey Beardsley (at least the cover is.)  You've gotta love it just for Beardsley's work.  He's awesome.

Nun grading papers

I'm feeling blah, tired, lacking in enthusiasm, so instead of coming up with something that requires actual thought, I give you...Nun grading papers jokes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.  CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NUN SITTING AT HER DESK GRADING THESE PAPERS?

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES..

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD, WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20.. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21.. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

Musical Monday: Goth metal bonanza!

Some interesting Goth metal for your perusal:

Wolf's Voodoo

Poisonblack's Rush

Unsun's Whispers

Sirenia's The Path To Decay - which is my new favorite band because I like the lead singer's voice.  She's their third lead singer of three albums, but Ailyn's got some pipes on her.  I suspect the consistency of the music from album to album varies, but I do like the album I have, The 13th Floor.

And yes I have an insane love of goth metal, death metal, etc. of the dark musical variety.  Seems sort of incongruous for a gal who's nearly 50!  But then, I was a metalhead as a kid, so maybe it's normal?  ;)

Photos posted for the Egypt trip

You can see my Egypt photos as well as my NYC trip photos on Facebook.  My albums are available to the public, so even if you aren't my friend, you can view them.  I should have all the photos up by the end of today, but most are up now.  I hope you enjoy them.

Happy Easter, y'all!

Not being Christian, it's just another day to me, but I do recognize the elements of Spring fertility rites that go along with the hoopla over the whole resurrection thing.  And regardless of your take on the matter, I wish you joy of the season/holiday and a wonderful day, too.

As far as things in general go, I'm looking about six months pregnant with my post-surgical, bloated belly, but I'm only taking about a third as much of the pain medication as I could, so I'm just a bit sore and tender.  It doesn't feel like something's ripping when I bend any longer, either.  Yay.

We are having another gorgeous, sunny day in the 70s today.  Yesterday afternoon was like the most perfect summer afternoon ever, even though it's barely spring: 70s, mild breeze, sun with no clouds.  Madre and I went for two walks for a total of nearly four miles.  It was so pleasant.  I missed our old porch, where we could sit outside and enjoy the weather.  I have plans to add one on the new house, but that's a couple of years away.  Would have been the perfect occupation yesterday afternoon, though.

I'm feeling rather nappish since I got home from the hospital.  I woke up at 5:30 and felt pretty chipper, but by the time I showered and sat down with the computer I felt like I could close my eyes and sleep a while.  So while I want to get some writing done, the urge to nap is calling.  And I can't really argue with that, considering major surgery was only 2.5 days ago!

I'm sore this morning. Wonder why...

Seriously, I need the pain pills, but am doing just fine except for the sore belly. I hope to be back up to snuff in a few days...meaning I can quit with the pain medication. Don't like the stuff, and cannot drive with it on board!

Upcoming releases for fantasy fans

The Kate Daniels series, book 4 will be out in April:

The Chicagoland Vampires volume 3 will be out in July:

And the 4th in the Raine Benares series will be out in April as well:

And although there is no cover art available yet, Michelle Sagara's Elantra Chronicles will have book 6 out, presumably sometime in 2010. 

I enjoy all three of these series (among a zillion others) and thought I'd mention them to you.  The first two are urban fantasies.  Kate Daniels is my favorite series at this time.  My second favorite is the Elantra Chronicles.  The Raine Benares series is an excellent fantasy series.  The first book was a bit tough to get into, but once you get into it, you can't help but love the world and the main character. The Chicagoland Vampires series is full of great characterization and a different take on the paranormal scene, and I'm enjoying the unfolding of the relationships between the characters.

And a note on cover art:  The Kate Daniels covers continue to have the poor woman drawn wearing an ill-fitting push-up bra.  I am annoyed every time I look at those covers.  But I must say I am glad that they decided not to go with a classically pretty cover girl.  Kate wouldn't be right as that sort of look.

I survived surgery just fine. Doc found a couple of minor 'congenital things' that would likely have been problematic later (no idea what, exactly, these entailed). She says my stomach size is right on track, and she's quite happy with me, one of her rare perfect patients. I'm pleased she's pleased. And I have lost 89.5 pounds according to their records. Now it's off to nap. Cannot keep my eyes open.

Surgery and other post-natal reconstructions

Today I have my gall bladder out.  And aren't I just thrilled?  Yep.  Indeedy.  So thrilled I cannot express it just how much I am looking forward to going under the knife again...Not.

I'm sure it'll go fine, and I'm sure my surgeon will be pleased with my weight loss and all that.  What actually has me most concerned is that she plans to inspect the gastric bypass from the inside and "see how it's doing."  Ulp.  I happen to know that my stomach holds more than they think it should, so I have thus somehow managed to expand it.  Which gives me an embarrassed paranoia like telling your parents you got an F on your paper when you should have aced it. 

And there's also the fear that I'll wake up to discover my surgeon has gone on and redone the bypass or something like that.  Horrors!  I don't want to spend more time off work than I can help, as I'm out of sick leave, having used six weeks this year.  It's taken me forever to accrue all that, too. 

Anyhow, that's what's up.  I'll try to collect a few posts to cover the next few days, but I know I will be on narcotics for two or three days at least and likely my brain won't be up to the challenge of actual thought for the duration. 

What I do hope to get done in that time is to set up either a SnapFish or Flickr account and post my Egypt photos to share with you all.  I don't plan on posting anywhere near the 1400-1500 I actually took, though.